I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “Halloween

What are you more afraid of??

We watched a Goosebumps movie tonight on Netflix. Usually corny, and with really bad acting. Well, this one had both of those, but surprisingly it also had some scary parts. Lots of buildup, so I sort of enjoyed being a little spooked.

There was this really scary part where the Evil Thing was lurking outside the kid’s house. Parents are of course away at a Halloween party. They showed it in the first person view as the Thing crept up to the house. Then they showed it peeking in the kitchen window. Cut to the kids in the kitchen. Older sister is telling the younger brother to go brush his teeth. And just out of sight in the window, you can see the creature peeking in. The little kid goes to the bathroom, brushes his teeth and then grabs a huge pumpkin-shaped cookie and sneaks a few bites. Jack looks shocked.

me: Oh geez wasn’t that scary? The Thing peeking in the window?

Jack: I’m more scared of the cavities that kid is gonna get than I am of the monster.

And that’s why he’s my son. 🙂

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Halloween in March – and a really funny Halloween book for kids

Why not. You can never start preparing too early for the holidays, right?

Jack decided to dress up today. Chewbacca. The usual. We had a low-key day just hanging around. Then we went to Jack’s friend’s birthday party. Then home. Chillin. To continue with the Halloween theme, we decided to read Jerry Seinfeld’s book “HALLOWEEN”. Hysterical!

Jack: Wait Wait go back! (he reads from the copy) “Oh the HECK with it, hahahahaha!!, then he throws the mask!”

me: That’s too funny. Do you remember your Halloween last year and your comedy routine?

Jack: (ignoring me and reading) “Everyone we know is just giving out CANDY??”

me: Well, it was pretty funny, but a little rude if you ask me.

Jack: What are you saying?

me: Your little banter back and forth with all the parents that we saw on Halloween.

Jack: That’s just because we had to hurry up and get good candy, not junk.

me: But you don’t tell people that, right?

Jack: Hey, I just told everyone which house stunk and which house had the good stuff. That was me doing something NICE for everyone.

me: Sigh…

(the recap from one of our past Halloweens is here if you care to delve further into this subject)


How do you cancel Halloween?

It’s like canceling Christmas. Remember the Grinch? You can’t stop Christmas from coming! The same goes for Halloween I say!

But cancel it, they did. Many towns throughout CT are without tricks or treats due to the freak storm we received on Saturday. About a foot of wet snow, then ice on top of that! It looks like a disaster area around here. So many homes without power, heat and water. Man. Just when you thought you could coast into the holidays on this nice warmish weather we’ve been having, mother nature zings the sh*t outta you.

Even though the weather was iffy, I still busted out the full LMFAO costume, much to the horror of my co-workers. And, since we couldn’t go door to door tonight, we went to the mall and had the kids trick or treat at all of the stores. I kind of liked it! It was warm and well lit, and you could see everyone’s costume. I taught Jack how to cut in line to get the candy at each store, and how he could go up to a store 2 or 3 times because the employees don’t actually look at the kids, and therefore they would never recognize him if he went back for more. Life lessons people!

When I came into the kitchen this morning, in full makeup and wig, Jack looked up from his book.

Jack: Goodness, you’re a fright.

He went back to reading.

I swear, he’s like 80 years old inside that little body.

 


Are aliens real?

Now of course I’m going to say no. What would you say to a 6-year-old just before bed?

Jack: I’m scared of the dark again.

me: I thought you were okay with the nightlight and glowing planets on the ceiling?

Jack: That might be part of the problem. I’m worried about aliens.

me: Oh I don’t think you have to worry about something that isn’t real.

Jack: What about phantoms? Or phantom aliens?

me: Not real.

Jack: Why does my book talk about UFOs and the Bermuda Triangle then? Are they not real too?

me: I’ve never seen either of those things and I’ve been around a LONG time.

Jack: But the phantoms have the scariest face that’s sort of a ghost and sort of an alien.

me: Are you getting this from the Halloween catalogs that are piling up in the kitchen?

Jack: Yeah because why would they make a costume if it wasn’t of something real??

me: Just for entertainment of course! Did you see the human pizza slice costume?

Jack: (giggles) Yeah…

me: Do you think there are giant pizza slices wandering around the neighborhood?

Jack: Maybe? I mean, no. But pizza is a REAL thing. That’s what I mean.

me: Wait a minute. I thought you were Big Foot these days. So aren’t people afraid of YOU?

Jack: Oh yeah! I forgot. Ha ha!  That’s you just doing your Mom thing again!

me: (I pat myself on the back…) Glad I could help.

Jack: I guess they write about aliens just to mess with our heads.