me: Hey how was school?
Jack: OMG I have SOOOOO much home work!!!! Aaarrrggghhh!
me: How much?
Jack: I don’t know, I haven’t checked.
me: Checked your… notes??? That you wrote?
Jack: Yeah. Duh.
me: Hey Jack do you want to walk Moca now or after your homework?
Jack: Let’s go now, my homework isn’t that bad. I can do it after.
me: Oh? What do you have?
Jack: I didn’t check yet!!! Sheesh!
me: How’s it going in there?
Jack: Math is done, Social Studies almost done and…
(Doorbell rings, Moca freaks out and Jack trips over himself to get to the door)
Jack: Mom can I go outside!
me: You have homework. Remember?
Jack: (talking really fast) I’m done with math, and only have one EASY paragraph for Social Studies and Spanish is two EASY sheets. Piece of cake… I can do it later in like 5 minutes.
He just came crashing in the door as I’m typing this.
Jack: Going to finish my homework!
He’s a good boy 😉
me: What are you yelling?
Jack: Hey hang low! Meemo!! Meaty T!
me: Do you need something?
Jack: Low Five Get in here! Mombalo!!
me: (finally going into the kitchen) What’s going on Jack??
Jack: I need help with my homework.
me: Why didn’t you just call me?? Sheesh.
Jack: I did. Like 17 times.
Jack: Can I have milk please Merpo?
me: Let me read your homework before you submit it, okay? (Google docs is the site of choice in 6th grade).
Jack: Yeah, ok here it is.. (he pulls up a question and answer sheet for Science)
me: Good answers Jack. Wait, for this one, instead of saying you found it boring… here when you answered “What did I like least about this assignment”… (he wrote, “It was boring when I had to … ” something or other about the project), I think you might want to say “I found it tedious” or something.
me: Instead of sounding like a dumb 11-year old all “I’m bored”, and “That’s Boring”, you can use a bigger word and sound smarter. Kay?
Jack: Okay. There done. (he submits the paper again online)
me: So, for the record, you know what “tedious” means, right? In case they ask?
Jack: Yeah, it means it was boring.
Jack: I’m going next doooooorrrr! (He runs for the door)
me: Wait, wait, homework!
Jack: I don’t have any. I forgot it.
me: Those are completely opposite statements. How did you forget your homework?
Jack: I forgot to check my mailbox. We’re soooo busy! We had testing too!
me: Jack… Come on..,What was your homework supposed to be?
me: Ok. I’ll read your spelling words to you and if you spell them all correctly you can go outside and play next door.
Jack: T R I F O L D
me: Good. Semicircle.
Jack: I can’t wait to go outside. These are easy!
Jack: S E M I DASH C I R C L E
me: Dash? Try again.
Jack: S E M I C I R C L E
me: Yep. How about Biweekly?
Jack: So can we go to Walgreens tomorrow and get that nerf gun?
Jack: Sigh. B I W E E K L Y!!! Sheesh.
me: Good. Now try—-
Jack: (interrupting) Can we?
me: Jack let’s finish up. Midafternoon. Why aren’t there hyphens in these? Is that right?
Jack. Finish up Midafternoon? I won’t have time to play!!!!
me: That’s the word you have to spell.
Jack: Oh. M I D A F T E R N O O N.
me: Yes. Ok…Triangle.
Jack: Seriously? TRIANGLE!!! So easy.
Jack: Walgreens? Can we?
me: There are like 10 more stinking words here. You know them, we’re just going through the motions, I know, but you are finishing. Bisect.
Jack: Sheesh. B I S E C T. (Muttering) … Well I’m getting that gun tomorrow and you can’t stop me.
me: Sigh. And when do you expect to do your homework that you forgot?
me: You know what? You should start a blog. I could help you set it up. It’s easy. And then you could type whatever you wanted about games or legos, or anything…
Jack: Oh yeah, I’ll start a blog and it will only have 3 words on it.
me: Be very careful before you say those 3 words out loud mister.
Jack: (cracks up laughing). Nevermind! Can I play my game between the writing and spelling homework?
me: No. Homework first.
Jack: Can I play after!!???
me: We’ll see…
Jack: We’ll SEE? That’s a NO!
me: We’ll see is distinctly neither a yes or no, and it’s depends entirely upon the circumstances that happen during or after homework.
Jack: Why does everything you say come out in long drawn out sentences?
me: Hey, I’m old. I have lots of words left to use up.
Jack: Yeah, well I only have TWO words for you that I have to say.
Jack: Here, I have a quiz for you.
me: What is it?
Jack: If Matt needs 500 signatures for his petition but only has 318, then how many does he need?
me: Let’s see…318 + 2 is 320 + 80 is…
Jack: I don’t need to hear your work!!
me: Sheesh Jack… So it’s 182? Am I right?
Jack: (scribbling something) I don’t know… I mean, yeah correct!!
me: Heeyyy let me see that. Is that your homework?? Jack…sigh…