Egg Sammich & Spooky… Somethin’

As it turns out he dies still say sh*t even while away at college 😂

Jack and I were talking on the phone earlier. He was getting ready to start packing for his spring break rowing trip and was debating whether or not to get some homework done before break or after, and then was worried about an egg sandwich he took from the dining hall.

Me: Dis you start packing yet?

Jack: No, I have time. I’m wondering if I should go do my homework at the Q center now to get it over with.

Me: That sounds like a good idea so you won’t have to think about it over break.

Jack: I’m not thinking of it at all.

Me: Well if you have time to do it then pack.

Jack: I’m more worried about this egg sandwich.

Me: Uh, what?

Jack: I took an egg sandwich from the dining hall and it’s going to sit here for a week.

Me: So eat it.

Jack: It’s cold.

Me: So heat it up! 🤨

Jack: oh yeah I could eat it now.

Me: Or wrap it up and take it in the van as a snack later.

Jack: I just said I’m eating it now.

Me: Sigh. Ok. Give your dad a call too before you go.

Jack: I would but you’ve been talking forever.

Me: Oy! Ok byeeeeee.

Jack: Oh wait I have to tell you this funny story. This guy was using the bathroom at work and the lights went out so he took a spooky dooky. Hahaha!

Me: Wasn’t that what happened to you last summer.

Jack: No it was some guy on Twitter.

And there you have it, the last mom son convo before Jack’s first ever spring break trip.

Spooky dooky…. geez….

Things said while I type this blog

Just in case you are considering blogging or writing of any kind, use this handy flow chart to help you choose a platform. I’m obviously on WordPress, but started on Blogger/Blogspot. I prefer WordPress now because I can customize the blog look (which I try to do at least once a year when I also update Jack’s age), and because it has many more features which I love! I’m kind of a control freak and I like to have things just the way I want them. WordPress gives me just enough customization with the right amount of built-in standard features to make blogging fun and easy. Love it! But hey, you might just want to belt out a few words a day, in which case you can spout it out on Twitter (for instance).

Jack and I were working on homework together. I was reading material for work, and he was reading a book for English. Or, rather, trying to read a book for English. He kept interrupting himself and then telling me to stop interrupting HIM. You know how that goes, eh?

………………………………

Jack: You should write a book.

me: About what? I’ve already sort of started one a few times.

Jack: A real book? Write about anything. Stop talking I’m trying to read.

me: Heyyy, you started the conversation!

………………………………

me: (whispering to myself) Maybe I should write another blog post…

Jack: Stop whispering! I’m trying to read!

………………………………

me: I’m visualizing $50,000 in my bank account by the end of the year. If you believe it, it will happen.

Jack: You should put your money in a retirement account.

me: I do. It’s a 401K.

Jack: Explain how that works…

(we talk for awhile about my accounts and how they get set up by your employers, etc, and how it’s best to pay yourself first, and anyone can live off of 10% less than their current salary and should put aside 10% for retirement or investments.)

Jack: I have to finish my English homework!

me: Hey you asked mister.

………………………………

me: Does that piece of paper say “Big brother is watching you?” What is that?

Jack: I found it in the book, so I’m keeping it as my bookmark. It’s staying with me.

me: Creepy. The face looks like Grandpa.

………………………………

Jack: (eyeballing me type this while he reads)

me: Mind your business, I’m writing a blog post. You can read it later. Sheesh.

………………………………

And there you have it. A typical night of me blogging and Jack doing homework. :()

 

 

 

Goldilocks and the 3 homeworks

Is it too hard, really easy or just right? Who knows!!??

me: Hey how was school?

Jack: OMG I have SOOOOO much home work!!!! Aaarrrggghhh!

me: How much?

Jack: I don’t know, I haven’t checked.

me: Checked your… notes??? That you wrote?

Jack: Yeah. Duh. 

Later…

me: Hey Jack do you want to walk Moca now or after your homework?

Jack: Let’s go now, my homework isn’t that bad. I can do it after.

me: Oh? What do you have?

Jack: I didn’t check yet!!! Sheesh!

Later…

me: How’s it going in there?

Jack: Math is done, Social Studies almost done and…

(Doorbell rings, Moca freaks out and Jack trips over himself to get to the door)

Jack: Mom can I go outside!

me: You have homework. Remember?

Jack: (talking really fast) I’m done with math, and only have one EASY paragraph for Social Studies and Spanish is two EASY sheets. Piece of cake… I can do it later in like 5 minutes. 

me: Sheesh.

He just came crashing in the door as I’m typing this.

Jack: Going to finish my homework!

He’s a good boy 😉

A Mom by Any Other Name…

  
Jack: (from the other room) Merpo!  Mongolo!!! Mush Mush!!! 

me: What are you yelling?

Jack: Hey hang low! Meemo!! Meaty T!

me: Do you need something? 

Jack: Low Five Get in here! Mombalo!!

me: (finally going into the kitchen) What’s going on Jack??

Jack: I need help with my homework.

me: Why didn’t you just call me?? Sheesh.

Jack: I did. Like 17 times. 

me: Sigh.

Jack: Can I have milk please Merpo?

me: Sigh.

Soooo Bored!

me: Let me read your homework before you submit it, okay? (Google docs is the site of choice in 6th grade).

Jack: Yeah, ok here it is.. (he pulls up a question and answer sheet for Science)

me: Good answers Jack. Wait, for this one, instead of saying you found it boring… here when you answered “What did I like least about this assignment”… (he wrote, “It was boring when I had to … ” something or other about the project), I think you might want to say “I found it tedious” or something.

Jack: Okay.

me: Instead of sounding like a dumb 11-year old all “I’m bored”, and “That’s Boring”, you can use a bigger word and sound smarter. Kay?

Jack: Okay. There done. (he submits the paper again online)

me: So, for the record, you know what “tedious” means, right? In case they ask?

Jack: Yeah, it means it was boring.

me: Sigh.

How to conduct a spelling test with a 5th grader

Jack: I’m going next doooooorrrr! (He runs for the door)

me: Wait, wait, homework!

Jack: I don’t have any. I forgot it. 

me: Those are completely opposite statements. How did you forget your homework?

Jack: I forgot to check my mailbox. We’re soooo busy! We had testing too!

me: Jack… Come on..,What was your homework supposed to be?

Jack: Spelling.

me: Ok. I’ll read your spelling words to you and if you spell them all correctly you can go outside and play next door.

Jack: Yay!

me: Trifold

Jack: T R I F O L D

me: Good. Semicircle.

Jack: I can’t wait to go outside. These are easy!

me: Ahem.

Jack: S E M I  DASH C I R C L E

me: Dash? Try again.

Jack: S E M I C I R C L E

me: Yep. How about Biweekly?

Jack: So can we go to Walgreens tomorrow and get that nerf gun?

me: (stare)

Jack: Sigh. B I W E E K L Y!!! Sheesh.

me: Good. Now try—-

Jack: (interrupting) Can we?

me: Jack let’s finish up. Midafternoon. Why aren’t there hyphens in these? Is that right?

Jack. Finish up Midafternoon? I won’t have time to play!!!!

me: That’s the word you have to spell. 

Jack: Oh. M I D A F T E R N O O N.

me: Yes. Ok…Triangle.

Jack: Seriously? TRIANGLE!!!  So easy.

me: Yep. 

Jack: Walgreens? Can we?

me: Maybe. 

Jack: But—-

me: There are like 10 more stinking words here. You know them, we’re just going through the motions, I know, but you are finishing. Bisect.

Jack: Sheesh. B I S E C T. (Muttering) … Well I’m getting that gun tomorrow and you can’t stop me.

me: Sigh. And when do you expect to do your homework that you forgot? 

 Jack: In the morning like I always do. I mean… Um…
 

2 or 3 words that Jack should never say

me: You know what? You should start a blog. I could help you set it up. It’s easy. And then you could type whatever you wanted about games or legos, or anything…

Jack: Oh yeah, I’ll start a blog and it will only have 3 words on it.

me: Be very careful before you say those 3 words out loud mister.

Jack: (cracks up laughing). Nevermind! Can I play my game between the writing and spelling homework?

me: No. Homework first.

Jack: Can I play after!!???

me: We’ll see…

Jack: We’ll SEE? That’s a NO!

me: We’ll see is distinctly neither a yes or no, and it’s depends entirely upon the circumstances that happen during or after homework.

Jack: Why does everything you say come out in long drawn out sentences?

me: Hey, I’m old. I have lots of words left to use up.

Jack: Yeah, well I only have TWO words for you that I have to say.

me: Sigh.

 

 

A Quiz For You

Jack: Here, I have a quiz for you.

me: What is it?

Jack: If Matt needs 500 signatures for his petition but only has 318, then how many does he need?

me: Let’s see…318 + 2 is 320 + 80 is…

Jack: I don’t need to hear your work!!

me: Sheesh Jack… So it’s 182? Am I right?

Jack: (scribbling something) I don’t know… I mean, yeah correct!!

me: Heeyyy let me see that. Is that your homework?? Jack…sigh…

I’ll take that bet

So, no power day 2. It’s fun for awhile just because of the novelty. Then, eh, I want eggs!! Or anything hot to eat. We had cereal last night. We took a vote and neither one of us wanted to prepare anything different.

We have the fridge hooked up to the generator. And a lamp. Coffee will be in soon. Luckily I have hot water! Yay! I’m wondering if the hair dryer will work on this rats nest of extension cords?? Now… Why does my phone auto correct ‘rats nest’ to ‘ears nears’? Sheesh.

The power decided to blip off just as we completed one section of Jack’s homework (though he doesn’t have school due to the storm). It’s a cardboard turkey that we decorated by gluing buttons on as the feathers. It looks really good. Jack picked out a football-shaped button to use as the eye, but we have to tie that one on.

Last night when we went to bed we left the football button on the counter. Of course this morning it was gone. Cats.

Jack: Mom the button isn’t here.

me: Look around. Probably on the floor?

Jack: Did you put it back in the container??

me: No. 10 bucks the kitties got it. Let’s search the floor.

Jack: I’ll take that bet! … Oh here it is!!! Hand over the 10 bucks lady!

me: I don’t think you understood the bet. I bet YOU 10 bucks that the cats played with the button. You say no way, I’ll take that bet, meaning you don’t agree with me. So because I was right, you actually owe ME 10 bucks. Get it?

Jack: I only take bets when they’re not stupid.

Just another day at the mountain

Whew.

Not enough arm strength to type. But this means that I’m back to regular posting! Aren’t you happy? Wait…are you asking why? Well let me tell you.

I just finished 2 days of Tough Mudder. Yes 2. Because 1 is for sissies? No. I guess because I’m crazy. I did day one with my personal team. And day two with my work team. There was no getting out of either of those events. So I did what anyone else would do. I trained like a mo-fo and hoped for the best. I’m broken, beaten and scarred, but still standing. And I had so much fun (like last year) that I’m sure I’ll do it again next year. Maybe just one though.

Here’s my official “finisher” badge. I got two. hee hee!

Because I’ve been training, and working, and handling my personal consulting at night, and raising Jack, and working on a divorce, and and and…you know…blogging just had to taper off a bit on the priority list.

Jack spent the 3 days at Grandma’s and had so much fun that he was sad to go. I’m glad he wasn’t missing me. Though he did his usual “punishment” of Mommy, which means have a brutal temper tantrum over nothing and freak out completely. Then eat dinner and all is well. Sigh.

me: Hey, let’s take a look at your homework.

Jack: I don’t have any.

me: No? Okay what’s that paper then?

Jack: That’s a list of things for teacher appreciation week. We have to do something every day this week.

me: We missed the flower today because we were away.

Jack: I was the only one that didn’t bring a flower.

me: We’ll make up for it tomorrow ok?

Jack: Ok. What else do we do this week? (he grabbed the paper and started reading)

me: I don’t know, I think we give money one day for a manicure, then candy another day… Do you think all your friends will follow the sheet and do all the teacher stuff?

Jack: Mom. Kids barely read the stuff that they have to. They’re not gonna read all this grown-up paperwork! (said as he continues to read the grown-up paperwork)

me: Oh, forgive me.

Jack: We have to remember to turn in that teacher questionnaire on Wednesday. Don’t forget.

(says the child to the parent)