I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “LMFAO

This is what awesome looks like. And sounds like.

Jack: Mom, can you get my clothes ready for tomorrow? I need the black shirt and the black and red shorts plus the red long sleeve jacket with the sleeves rolled up because that’s what awesome looks like, and the black socks. Okay?

me: Awesome looks like that?

Jack: Did you not just hear me?

He said that not in a snotty way, but in a “how could you misunderstand just exactly how awesome that outfit sounds??”

How could he NOT have awesome taste in clothes if his Mom dresses up like this??

 

He’s the kid that stopped letting me pick out his clothes as soon as he learned to talk and say “NO! I do it!” Seriously. We’ve had SUCH fights over clothes over the years, mainly when I have to tell him it’s a “dressy” day and he has to wear a collar shirt or something. But on the other 364 days, he picks whatever. I couldn’t care less if it matches, is the right size, or is weather appropriate. Seriously. That’s the battle I chose not to fight. It kind of worked out like this:

me: Jack I think those shorts are a bit too small.

Jack: They’re FINE!

me: Okay. Wear em.

(later)

Jack: Some boys in the bathroom picked on me and said my shorts were too short and I looked like a girl.

me: Really? Awww, sorry.

Jack: They were 5th graders so it’s fine.

me: Fine?

Jack: They know I’m younger than them, and they do that to everyone. So it’s fine.

(he pauses)

Jack: I think we can give these to the Goodwill now.

And that’s one lesson learned. Here’s another:

me: Jack: It’s freezing out. Get your coat.

Jack: No! It’s embarrassing! No one is wearing a coat Mom!

me: Okay freeze then. Let’s go.

(outside at the bus stop)

Jack: (chatter chatter chatter) It’s sooooo cold!!!!!

me: (just looking at him)

Jack: Yeah yeah, I know. I’ll bring the coat next time.

That’s how Jack learns. Does it sound mean? I don’t think so. Just think of the other scenario. We fight and yell. He cries and still won’t wear the jacket. I threaten and take electronics away. We’re all cranky. Nope. Not for me. Instead he’s cold and I’m fine. Hee hee! Hey, we parents have to get some fun out of this right? And guess what, Jack learned that when you don’t have a coat, you might actually get … cold!

 

So anyway. I’m awesome at this. 🙂

 

I’ll leave you with a tidbit from this past weekend. My birthday was on Friday, so I told Jack that he could make me a nice card or something at his dad’s house over the weekend. He agreed.
me: Hey Jack, I never got that card from you. Did you make one with Daddy this weekend?

Jack: Nahh…

me: Awww, but that would have been special for me.

Jack: What would you rather have? A card or your real son? I think you got the good deal.

(Can I seriously argue with that?)

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What is sexy? And do we really know it?

Luckily I’m speaking in the context of a 7-year-old mind, or else you’d get an earful! And photos! Ahhh, that’s another blog entirely. (mind wanders)

Oh yeah, my story….

Jack: You look sexy!

me: I do? What do you mean? Do you mean pretty?

Jack: I mean pretty. But what’s sexy?

me: It’s what you might say to your girlfriend when you’re grown up. It’s a compliment, but not really from a little boy to his mom.

Jack: Oh. You explain things, but I never really get the full definition do I?

me: No.

Jack: Because I’m 7?

me: Pretty much. “Need to know” basis.

Jack: Why are the bases need to know?

me: It means, I give you the information you need as you need it. And no more. You’re still little.

Jack: But you still look sexy.

me: Sigh.

Jack: Okay, “pretty”.

me: That’s better.

Jack: Now tell me again about how I’ll call my girlfriend sexy?

me: Enough!

And I just wanted an excuse to post this video. 🙂


2 songs about toilets?

Jack: (singing) Girl look at that potty. Girl look at that potty… I work out!

me: (lmfao) Jack! It’s “body” not “potty”! Hahahahaha!!!!!

Jack: Well they have the other song that’s Potty rock is in the house tonight! So what about that??

me: It’s “party”. Sigh. Do you have to pee or something?

Jack: No! Why are you correcting me??

me: Don’t whine about it, I’m just telling you the real words.

Jack: I’m not whining I’m griping!!


How do you cancel Halloween?

It’s like canceling Christmas. Remember the Grinch? You can’t stop Christmas from coming! The same goes for Halloween I say!

But cancel it, they did. Many towns throughout CT are without tricks or treats due to the freak storm we received on Saturday. About a foot of wet snow, then ice on top of that! It looks like a disaster area around here. So many homes without power, heat and water. Man. Just when you thought you could coast into the holidays on this nice warmish weather we’ve been having, mother nature zings the sh*t outta you.

Even though the weather was iffy, I still busted out the full LMFAO costume, much to the horror of my co-workers. And, since we couldn’t go door to door tonight, we went to the mall and had the kids trick or treat at all of the stores. I kind of liked it! It was warm and well lit, and you could see everyone’s costume. I taught Jack how to cut in line to get the candy at each store, and how he could go up to a store 2 or 3 times because the employees don’t actually look at the kids, and therefore they would never recognize him if he went back for more. Life lessons people!

When I came into the kitchen this morning, in full makeup and wig, Jack looked up from his book.

Jack: Goodness, you’re a fright.

He went back to reading.

I swear, he’s like 80 years old inside that little body.