Jack: There’s really only one thing I need from Santa.
me: What’s that?
Jack: It might take batteries, I think…
me: Did you hear me? I asked what it is?
Jack: No. I think you’re not supposed to put your mouth on it.
me: Sigh. Whenever you’re ready.
Jack: Because sometimes I just need to say things, ya know?
me: True, so is this thing a recording device or something?
Jack: That’s only for Santa to know. And this is the ONLY thing he needs to bring.
me: Really, the only thing?
Jack: But you still have to get me stuff.
me: Are you gonna tell me what it is because I’m going to move on…
Jack: You know how there’s always the ONE best present that you hope to get because you know you’ll always use it?
me: Sure, I guess…
Jack: Well then that’s it. Not the plastic kind. Do they make a metal kind?
me: I’m not really sure what we’re even talking about anymore.
Jack: It’s a megaphone. Don’t you listen to me??!!!
me: All I want from Santa is a bottle of Advil.
Jack: Ha! That’s not a real present.