Pets, Uncategorized

What’s that on the rug?

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Typical question in my house. It could be anything really. Dog puke. Cat puke. Hairballs. Muddy footprints. Sometimes it’s all four at once. Add in a clumsy episode by yours truly and I’d say it’s a party.

me: What the…?? (I almost stepped in a giant puddle of water and grass on my floor. It looked like someone spilled a salad. Thanks Moca!)

I cleaned up the mess and headed into the kitchen.

me: Aaaaagghhh! (I almost stepped in a brownish blob of a hairball mixed with cat food. Rug cleaner, soap, paper towels… I had hardly gone 5 feet and was starting to break a sweat.)

That mess cleaned up, I finally made it into the kitchen to start making lunch. I grabbed the container of hummus, and… whoops! It slipped right out of my hands and plopped on the floor sort of imploding and exploding all at the same time. It was like a hummus meteor had landed right in the middle of my kitchen. The animals started circling like sharks.

me: Back, back! No no no nononononooooo! Out! (one foot up holding Moca back, the other foot hopping to keep the cats away from the mess. More paper towels and soap. More sweat.)

I cleaned up the floor and salvaged what was left in the container for my lunch. Mom’s always get floor scraps for lunch. Sheesh.

me: Jaaaack! We need to leave. Now!

Jack comes downstairs ready for camp and we head down to the garage.

Jack: Hey, you know the big creature in Stranger Things? The bloody slimy one?

me: Yeahhhh…? (what is he getting at)

Jack: Well, there was something that looked just like that in the living room just now.

me: What??! What was it?

Jack: I don’t know but it was big. And gross.

me: Why didn’t you go see or pick it up?

Jack: I’m not touching that.

me: Touching what??

Jack: It looked like a croissant.

me: Bread? Was it Moca’s bone?

Jack: No it was way bigger than that. It was also kinda dark and slimy. It’s right over by the speaker and the fireplace. You can’t miss it.

me: Apparently I can miss it. I was busy cleaning up Moca’s grass puke, the cat’s hairball and the hummus I spilled.

Jack: Not the hummus!

me: I saved some don’t worry. (the hummus in our town is soooooo good…) So I get to come home to a giant slimy dark wet croissant in front of the fireplace.

Jack: Pretty much.

me: Gee thanks.

Later that evening…

Jack: Hey it’s gone?

me: What?

Jack: Whatever it was on the rug.

I head over to inspect. there is a football shaped stain on the white carpet. Faint, but I can tell something was there. Something I’d rather not speculate about.

We’re not sure which animal it came from or which animal ate it but all I know is that it was one less thing I needed to clean!

Who looks guilty? PoBo, Luna or Moca???

🙂 Definitely the cats haha…

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Writing

Don’t even THINK about it

I came home late Friday night from Russia. As is customary, I did my “walk through” of the house to see the damage. Two guys left alone for two weeks?? Ha ha! And damage I did see. Every surface was covered with books, toys, newspapers, leftover food, clothing in various stages of clean. There were bags of “stuff” all around, some groceries and supplies were still on the floor ready to be put away. I looked in the living room and saw pillows, blankets, and remnants of meals had in front of the TV. Hmmm. Then I looked at the front door.

No soliciting?

I told you he’s like 80 years old. Maybe he’ll have a sign like this when he’s older: