This didn’t happen tonight, though the days have all been blending together it sort of feels like it just happened. It happened the other night, when I also was not sleeping at (let me check the clock) ONE OH EIGHT a.m. Sigh…
Jack: Mom! MOM! My last tooth fell out!
me: Cool! Not too much blood…let’s get the treasure box and put it under your pillow.
Jack: I hope I get 5 bucks like the first time!
me: I think that’s just a first tooth special deal.
Jack: I heard that if you put the exact same money back under your pillow that the tooth fairy gave you, she’ll give you your tooth back if you want it. (pause) But I just want the money.
me: Good choice.
Jack: I’m sweaty and I need to pee and have a drink of water. And my undies are wet. It’s just sweat though.
me: Okay, let’s go…
Jack: (just as I’m leaving his room) Can I have the fan???
me: Sure. (I dig around, get the fan set up and back out of the room)
Jack: The tooth fairy didn’t come yet, see? My tooth is still in the box.
Jack: I heard that.
me: Okay, she’ll be here soon.
(1:45am. I go back to my room in a panic. I don’t have any cash! Stupid tooth. I look around in my piggy bank and find three 50-cent pieces. I put them on my nightstand and then set my alarm for 4am. That will give me enough time to switch out the money for the tooth before Jack wakes up.)
(2:05am. I’m back in bed trying to doze off. A few minutes later my door creaks open and the light goes on.)
me: GAH!!! (I jump up shielding my eyes)
Jack: Mom, I’m really cold now with the fan on me.
me: Why didn’t you just call me and have me come up?
Jack: You NEVER come up when I call you!
me: What just happened a half hour ago. Sheesh.
Jack: (sees the money on my nightstand) Heeeyyyyy are those 50-cent pieces??
Jack: I heard that. Can I have them?
(2:20am. Jack is back in bed, dressed in warm clothes. The fan is now off. He has the 50-cent pieces. I look around and find a golden dollar coin and hide it under my pillow. I check the alarm. Still set for 4am.)
(3:15am. I hear a god awful racket outside my door. It’s Bella trying to get at a huge moth that’s stationed above my door frame. I shoo the moth away, it’s a big sucker, and shoo Bella away. I realize that the cats will be waking me up at 5:15 to eat, so I decide to feed them now. You know. Since I’m up already. WTF. I come back into the bedroom and almost step on this HUGE thing in the middle of my rug. It’s the moth. It likes me. Earlier in the day I moved the grill cover on the deck railing and like 15 HUGE moths crawled out. I spent some time removing them all and letting a few crawl onto my fingers. I felt something bump into my head but didn’t really think anything was there. I went into the house and was brushing my teeth and noticed something moving on the top of my head in the mirror. GAH! The moth had burrowed itself into my hair, so I thwacked it and it flew away. And later stationed itself outside my door to annoy the cats because apparently it missed me. And now it’s sitting on my rug. I went to get a cup to scoop it up and put it outside. It crawled behind the laundry basket. Sigh. I moved the laundry basket and managed to grab it in the little dixie cup with a piece of paper on top. I let it out the back door. Came inside. Put the cup down, locked the door and noticed the moth was still in the cup. Really? I opened the door and threw the cup onto the deck and went back to bed.)
(3:30am I think… why the hell am I going back to bed when I should just go up and do the tooth switch out and then shut my alarm off?? Man I’m tired.)
(3:45am Tooth switch-out successful. I put Jack’s tooth into the little tooth-shaped box I have that contains all of his teeth. I wonder what he’ll think when he finds this box. Or if he finds all of Santa’s letters that I’ve been secretly hiding all these years. I mail photocopies to Santa. Don’t you dare judge me! I get back into bed and realize I have to pee. I get up and whack my shin on the damn laundry basket that I moved earlier when I was catching the moth. I sob a little bit. Is this building character? Making me stronger? I don’t know anymore.)
Jack: She came! (He runs into my bedroom yelling. I feel like I had just dozed off. I probably just did.) Look, coins! (He holds up three 50-cent pieces)
me: Oh. Wow. 3 coins? (Wtf did I do with the gold coin. When did I take back the 50-cent pieces?) Hey, I thought you already had those 50-cent pieces from last night, remember? From my nightstand?
Jack: What are you talking about?
me: When you came down to tell me you were cold?
Jack: I never came down.
me: ??? (Sanity check, his fan was turned OFF and he was dressed in pajamas, so I know this was not a dream. But still. WTF?)
Jack: Maybe if I leave only one of the coins back in the treasure box the tooth fairy will bring only part of my tooth back! Cool…
me: (I look at the clock and realize I’ve slept OH maybe 4 and a half hours.) Groan… (I roll over and feel something under my pillow. It’s the gold coin. ????)
Any thoughts on that little mystery? Was I dreaming? No, seriously. I need help.
I guess we’ll call this a catch up day.
Jack: Mom is anyone looking?
me: No, why?
Jack: (starts rocking out)
You may remember our 2nd caterpillar “Basil”? (scroll down a bit) If not, shame on you. Go catch up on your reading. So, our first caterpillar was Chewbacca… all brown and fuzzy, then he turned into Princess Leia the fluffy white moth. And now we have Darth Vader. I’m just along for the ride on the naming conventions.
Jack: This is like a totally different moth!
me: Remember, the caterpillar was totally different too. He was all smooth, and …
Jack: Okay I’m done, let’s release it…
me: Jack, hey look at this bug. Or beetle. I’ve never seen this kind before.
Jack: It’s a milkweed bug.
me: I don’t know… I’ll have to look it up.
Jack: It’s definitely a milkweed bug. I raised one from a nymph stage.
me: (Who is this kid??) Well, yeah, that might be true, but I’m still not sure if that’s what this bug is. (trying to save face as a parent…)
And we wonder why our neighbor calls him Bigfoot. Geez.
Jack: Why did you buy the cats a new climber? They don’t even use the things they already have!??
me: You’re confusing that argument with something else. You usually say that about me. And shoes. Rememer?
Jack: Oh yeah. You didn’t buy MORE shoes did you??
Jack: Very funny.
She’s a biotch or so I’m hearing. I have a few updates to various things and I have to get them out before we lose power. 2 million without power in Virginia. Wow. I have a flashlight and a case of water. Think I need anything else? Sigh…
Well, Jack took his blue belt test on Friday, with a fractured arm! He did great. I however totally flubbed my green belt test. I passed, but for some reason, right in the middle of doing my form, which I have memorized like the back of my hand, I got dizzy or something so I sort of stumbled and looked down. Dammit. But still, I broke that board like an S.O.B! I asked when I would be able to work with the weapons (which usually comes at a higher belt). The master said, Um, I think you’re ready now. LOL! Do I have aggression? Yeah! Do I have a need to hit things? Hell yeah! Should I be trusted with martial arts weaponry? Probably not…
We also had a funny thing happen last week. Remember our caterpillar Chewbacca, and how he hatched into the most gorgeous white fluffy moth? I have more pictures of the release. We took the basil stalk out of the butterfly house and set it on the deck table. He kind of dried his wings for a bit. We got bored. We went in for a few minutes. When we came back he was gone. Bye Chewbacca! Then I grabbed the basil stalk to chuck it, and lo and behold, another totally different type of caterpillar was clinging to its branches. This one was green and smooth. I put it into the butterfly house, same setup as Chewbacca. Sigh. Am I a caterpillar safe house now? Jack named it Basil because it’s green and smooth and eats basil. Brilliant. Two days later, it cocoons. So I’ve included some photos of THAT. It’s like totally happening over here, let me tell you. I think Bloomberg is yapping on TV… The rains have begun and they’re so mad!
Jack: Will our roof get ripped off?
Jack: Are we gonna have a bad flood?
me: No, we’re on a hill.
Jack: Is the power going out for days and days?
me: Probably not. We’re prepared if it does.
Jack: Sigh. Will school be closed forever??
me: Maybe just the first day. But you’ll have to make it up next summer.
Jack: Sighhh, what’s the point of a stupid Hurricane then! Sorry!
(click to enlarge the photos. Especially the moth ones, they’re so cool!)
Or whatever the next generation of wordless things would be. Not that I’m ever wordless, remember? Like now, I’m still talking and you’re still reading. That’s kind of funny that I’m controlling you as I type this. And you all have the nerve to wonder where Jack gets “it” from. His Dad? As if.
Jack: I have to get to camp on time tomorrow, I just HAVE to!
me: But Jack, you can’t go on the swimming trip with your hurt arm.
Jack: No, I just want to have ALL the attention focused on ME!
Jack: Promise, I will have everyone’s COMPLETE attention??
me: I’m sure everyone will notice.
Jack: That’s why casts and slings are SO very important at this age.
We found Chewbacca! (the caterpillar). Scroll down in that older post a bit, you’ll find the photo of Chewbacca before the transformation.
I thought he had buried himself in the bowl of dirt I placed in the butterfly house. So when I tried to add some water to the basil plant I had stuffed in there, I almost inadvertently knocked Chewbacca right off the leaf he had cocooned himself on. He’s all fuzzy and snug in his little home, while he grows wings and whatnot. How cool is that!??? I was very excited. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was not shared.
me: Jack! Guess what I found?
Jack: My dart with the blue tip that goes on the cross-bow?
me: Uh, no. Look!
Jack: What’s that?
Jack: Who cares.
me: This is our caterpillar! He didn’t bury himself in the dirt like we thought, he made a cocoon on the leaf here.
me: I thought you would be excited. Pretty soon we’ll have a little moth we can set free.
Jack: Who cares about moths. It’s not like he’s gonna be a butterfly or anything.