I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “nature

Am I a gamer or a vampire?

Jack and I took a walk last night just as the sun was going down. The sunset was brilliant, the catbirds were chirping away and there were no other humans outside that we could see. In other words, perfect.

If only I could have taped the entire walk. Jack made such a racket with his stories and singing and smashing his razor scooter on the ground because “it sounds like a sword fight”.

You just had to be there. But I’m glad you weren’t. 😉

Jack: I have to pee before we walk. (He heads to the front bushes and then screams) A frog!!!

me: Don’t pee on it! (We take a few pictures and I try to pick it up while Jack warns of salmonella and makes me go wash my hands. Sheesh)

We head down the driveway and see my soccer ball across the street. Didn’t even notice it had rolled away!

Jack: Mom, you know what would be awesome and that everyone should learn?

me: What’s that…

Jack: How to use game controllers with their feet. (He pauses I’m sure for effect).

me: Becauuuussse…

Jack: A lot of people know how! You can eat chips with your hands while you play with your feet. It’s productive.

me: Very. (I turn on my iPhone flashlight because now it’s getting pretty dark, though the sky is still pink)

Jack: Hey you flashed that in my eyes. Nooooo! I’m a vampire!!! Ahhhhh!!! Wait, am I a gamer or a vampire?? I’m a gamer!!!!

Immediately about 300 flying bugs started circling my phone.

me: Ugh, this has to go off. Look at the bats! (2 were flapping wackily overhead)

Jack: Mosquito eaters!!!

me: They’re cool huh? And cute.

Jack: Cute??!! Have you seen their faces? (He mimics a bat face and charges down the street like a maniac on his scooter).

When we get home Jack says that we should do this more often.

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If I … were king … of the country!

Or President. Either way works when you’re 6. Jack decided to sketch out his first order of business as President of the USA.

Jack: What’s it take to be the President? Like Politics? Healthcare?

me: Spending a lot of time talking to Dad I see?

Jack: How come you’re not President?

me: I didn’t want that particular job.

Jack: King of the whole country? Who wouldn’t want that!?

me: Me.

Jack: I am totally gonna be president.

me: I totally believe you! That’s a big job.

Jack: What do I have to do?

me: You make big decisions for a lot of things, like how the country spends its money. Maybe you want to put more money into healthcare and not so much into weapons.

Jack: Unless I think the bad guys are after us and then we need more weapons.

me: Exactly. Sometimes the bad guys are on our side.

Jack: Huh?

me: Nevermind.

Jack: Well, I would definitely have more computer games!

me: More?? How is that good?

Jack: Because it’s FUN. Then everyone in the whole country would have FUN Mom, sheesh.

me: Hmmm, not bad. But what about all the other fun you can have without computers?

Jack: How??

me: Seriously? Like nature for instance, and animals and hiking and all that outside fun stuff.

Jack: You can totally have nature on the computer. Did you ever see Groundhog D-Day?

me: (I cracked up at that one) What?? Who the heck is teaching you that?

Jack: It’s awesome. He grabs his Etch-A-Sketch. I’m working on my Zombo-tron right now, which is also a game.

me: I’m confused. What’s it do? (I glance at his creation. Not bad!!)

Jack: Kills Zombies of course.

me: Why?

Jack: Because that’s his job. Look at his name. Zom-Bo-TRON. Get it? He can buy guns AND switch guns.

me: Maybe he can be president? Ha ha!

Jack: No. He’s not real Mom.

(as if I needed more clarification!)

Zombie (on left) trying to kill a Zombo-Tron


Foto Friday – Misc. Edition

I guess we’ll call this a catch up day.

 

(Jack dancing in Best Buy)

Jack: Mom is anyone looking?

me: No, why?

Jack: (starts rocking out)

 

(Noticed this composition on our walk the other day.)

(Jack studying the "map" we found in the road. Can you see Florida??)

(This is the 2nd moth that we released. We named him "Darth Vader".)

 

You may remember our 2nd caterpillar “Basil”? (scroll down a bit) If not, shame on you. Go catch up on your reading. So, our first caterpillar was Chewbacca… all brown and fuzzy, then he turned into Princess Leia the fluffy white moth. And now we have Darth Vader. I’m just along for the ride on the naming conventions.

Jack: This is like a totally different moth!

me: Remember, the caterpillar was totally different too. He was all smooth, and …

Jack: Okay I’m done, let’s release it…

me: Sheesh.

 

(Milkweed bug, I think?? Jack seems to think so. He's probably right.)

 

me: Jack, hey look at this bug. Or beetle. I’ve never seen this kind before.

Jack: It’s a milkweed bug.

me: I don’t know… I’ll have to look it up.

Jack: It’s definitely a milkweed bug. I raised one from a nymph stage.

me: (Who is this kid??) Well, yeah, that might be true, but I’m still not sure if that’s what this bug is. (trying to save face as a parent…)

 

(We rock with tinker toys. Especially the plastic kind. Behold, the single-engine prop plane.)

 

And we wonder why our neighbor calls him Bigfoot. Geez.

 

(Ed (top) and Bella LOVE their new kitty climber!)

(...and they love their new scratching thingy!)

 

Jack: Why did you buy the cats a new climber? They don’t even use the things they already have!??

me: You’re confusing that argument with something else. You usually say that about me. And shoes. Rememer?

Jack: Oh yeah. You didn’t buy MORE shoes did you??

me: MYOB.

Jack: Very funny.


Eww, some nature got on me…

There are a lot of kids I know, or that Jack knows, that fall into one of these categories: a) afraid of bugs and critters, b) kill bugs and critters if at all possible, c) try to make all bugs and critters their friends and keep them as pets and inadvertently kill them, d) allergic to bugs and critters.

Luckily, LUCKILY, Jack is none of these! None! I think once when he was mad at me he pretended that he was going to squish an ant, and then felt so bad about it he cried his eyes out. My kind of man!

Between the two of us, we can’t get enough of being outside, taking hikes, studying little bugs and animals that we find in the woods, etc. Jack now says he wants to be a scientist and he’s always carrying around his magnifying glass and walkie-talkie. If I could only get him to say “over” when he’s done talking… SIGH! The other day, Jack went to our neighbor’s birthday party. She had a critter van pull up! Jack is still talking about the spiders and the one gecko that climbed his shirt. I wasn’t there, but I found out through photos that he even had a boa constrictor (python??) wrapped around his neck at one point. GASP!

Jack: The gecko’s name was Roxy. She was a jumper!

me: Did he climb your shirt? (Jack was wearing a shirt with the NYC skyline on it, so it looked like the gecko was climbing the building)

Jack: Uhhh, it was a SHEEEEE.

me: Sorry. Did SHE climb your shirt?

Jack: Didn’t you just see the picture? I think you know the answer.

me: Jack I’m just making conversation over here.

Jack: Less yacking and more packing.

me: (thanks for teaching him that, Dad) We’re not packing anything.

Jack: Well then just less yacking.

me: Sigh.

Not sure what kind of moth this is... but it was in our back yard.

Little garden snake in Robinson State Park

Jack with little turtle

Jack with a gecko climbing his shirt!

GASP, giant snake on Jack's neck.

Another of the world's tiniest toads

Blurry, but this little chipmunk lives in our drainpipe