I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “one liner

When caviar goes bad

We met some friends for dinner and Jack’s friend ordered a bento box that had a few different types of sushi in it. Including one giant avocado tower covered with Roe and caviar. Needless to say when he touched his fork to it, the tower fell over.

Friend: Awwwww my caviar!

Jack: First-world problem.

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I hope I get a harmonica

Who loves Adam Sandler? We do! I forgot it was the first day of Hanukkah but coincidentally woke up singing his Hanukkah song. Obnoxiously, and changing the lyrics as I pleased.

me: So drink your gin and tonica…

Jack: Mom. Just. No.

me: (making breakfast) Jack today’s the first day of Hanukkah for real, so how funny that i woke up singing that song.

Jack: Yes, how Ironica.

me: 😳

On that note, have a happy Hanukkah everyone!


Quote of the day, argumentative

Jack: I’m not arguing! I’m just telling you how you’re wrong!

me: Sigh.

That was how our “discussion” ended. 

Earlier…

I didn’t want Jack to mow the lawn with a broken toe in a shoeless ortho boot. I told him to put a sneaker on and then the boot.

Jack: That doesn’t matter! The sneaker isn’t going to protect me from the lawn mower blade, it’s still gonna do the same damage to my foot!

me: Oh that’s a good argument.

Current…

I just told Jack to hurry up in the shower. I went up to look and he had his iPod set up with his black light water speakers. Ready for an event in the shower! Oy!

me: How long do you plan on being in there? Be quick ok?

Jack: I just arranged an entire speaker setup. It’s not going to be quick.

Right now it sounds like a concert in the bathroom. 🙂

Here’s Jack mowing the lawn in his boot! Use the term “lawn” loosely.