I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “one liners

Belated Mother’s Day wishes!


I was too busy enjoying my day to actually post about enjoying my day! Isn’t that nice when it happens that way? I hope you all had an amazing Mother’s Day and that your children made you feel as special as mine did.

Jack was in rare form, starting Saturday night. He marched around the house not allowing me to lift a finger and whenever I ask for anything. It was hysterical. I got massages and drinks when I needed them and covers folded back for me and he listened to everything I told him to do. It was heavenly.

I ordered cupcakes from Scottcakes in Provincetown Mass. for my Mother’s Day gift. Over the weekend, Jack and I am his friend manage to consume them all. Divine they are! Visit Scottcakes.com or simply go to Cape Cod and visit them on commercial Street in Provincetown ha ha.

These are a few things that Jack said yesterday, and I just had to share them because he still continuing his trend LOL.

The first comment was about the cupcakes. I said oh boy I shouldn’t have be into. Now I feel kind of sick. How do you feel?

Jack: I didn’t get sick eating the cupcakes, I felt amazing! It was a morale booster!

The second comment it was about my blog. I think I need to monetize. I asked Jack if he thought it was a good idea.

Jack: Monetize? Oh I know how to monetize! You use Adsense duhhh. Everyone knows that.

And, lastly, Jack has detention tonight. It is his first attention in middle school. I’m not proud of it, and I don’t think he should be either.

Jack: I’m a pioneer! I’m the first kid in my grade to get detention!

Sigh.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!


The comeback king

Why oh why is this a new phase? When do the phases end, by the way? And why are there no good phases??!!

me: Hey, don’t touch that, it’s not clean.

Jack: You’re not clean.

me: Knock it off Jack.

———-

Jack: Can we watch a movie?

me: Not tonight, it’s too late.

Jack: You’re too late.

me: That doesn’t even make sense.

Jack: You don’t even make sense.

me: Stoppit.

———-

me: What do you want for dinner?

Jack: Food and lots of it.

me: That’s not very specific is it?

Jack: You’re not very specific are you?

me: What did I tell you about doing that?

Jack: To not to.

me: Better follow that advice buddy and be all sunshine and rainbows for me.

Jack: You’re all sun–… Heyyyy! I said I need food over here or at least an appetizer!

me: Sigh.

(Almost had him calling me sunshine and roses. Ha.)