me: Hi, how was it today?
Jack: The usual. In gym we had to go outside and play soccer in the mud. Look at my sneakers!
me: Man, good thing you wore your old ones.
Jack: My friend wore his brand new EXPENSIVE high tops (he named some basketball player brand that I had never heard of) and they got RUINED! I wouldn’t want to be him tonight…
me: What else happened?
Jack: Oh, I should’ve brought my sax!
me: Why? It’s gym day..,
Jack: Because today was pull out day.
me: (really??) Out of what exactly??
Jack: We got pulled out of gym to go practice with the 7th grade band.
me: Awwww, how come you didn’t write that down?
Jack: No one told me! He never told us that!
me: Did your friends in band know about it?
Jack: Uhhh some of them.
me: Well how did they hear about it
Jack: I don’t know Mom, they just did but I swear he never told us!
me: Are you paying attention?
Jack: Yesss! Most of us just didn’t know!
me: Well you would think that —–
Jack: (Interrupting) I. DON’T. KNOW.
me: Yeah yeah… Well don’t miss it next time because that’s important and —-
Jack: Moving on!
Sh*t My 17-Year-Old Says 