Conversations, School

How to enhance your 7-year old’s vocabulary…

…Just let him sit on the bus next to Steven. Wait until I get my hands on this kid.



Jack: Mom, Steven taught me ALL different kinds of bad words today. The REAL ones that only grown ups say.

me: Wow, how fun that must have been! What did you learn?

Jack: (warily eyeing me from the back seat) You know, I promised SWEAR TO GOD that I wouldn’t tell anyone, so…

me: Those promises don’t carry over to Moms you know.

Jack: They don’t?

me: Of course not. Moms have to know everything. That’s how we keep our little boys and girls safe. You can always tell me even the Cross Your Heart secrets. They’re safe with me.

Jack: Okay. But, can I tell you the words?

me: I’d love to hear what Steven has to say…

(I’ll bleep them out but from this point on we have a PG-13 rating…)

Jack: Well the first one is A**Hole. Is that like your butt?

me: Kind of. But it’s pretty naughty no matter how you use it.

Jack: What’s a bastard?

me: Another naughty word.

Jack: Oh and this one’s GREAT! It sounds so funny. D**che Bag.

me: (Sigh) Okay, here’s the rule about these words. Sometimes grownups get angry and use bad words. Little kids sometimes hear these words and then tell them to their friends. It’s okay that you know about these words, but don’t ever say them out loud because you’ll get in trouble.

Jack: But we all said them to each other on the bus. No one got mad.

me: If the driver hears you, or a teacher, or even if one friend gets upset and reports you to the principal…whew…BIG trouble.

Jack: Just for words??? Why can’t they just say sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. Huh? You ever think of that?

me: Trust me, it just has to do with good manners and what’s appropriate for a little boy to say.

Jack: Well then, you can’t say Sh*t again when you forget your keys and we’re late for the bus!

(Sh*t, he heard that??)


Can we keep secrets from our Mom?

Jack and I were eating dinner and all of a sudden he got a bit distraught.

Jack: Ohhh, there’s something that I want to tell you but I probably shouldn’t but I REALLY WANT TO!

me: Are you afraid I’ll get mad or something?

Jack: No. Ohhhhh!!! I want to keep it a secret!!!

me: Well, you know you can always tell me anything Jack, and I will always listen to you and help you.

Jack: Now you’re just making it harder for me NOT to tell you! (he starts crying)

me: Come here…(I give him a big hug and sort of rock him a little) It’s okay…

Jack: Is it okay to keep a secret all to yourself?

me: Of course it is.

Jack: Even from your Mom??

me: Does it involve something that you did or something that could get someone hurt?

Jack: No, it’s about Bisons and Gorillas and me and stuff.

me: I think those are okay things to keep secret. Even from Mom.

Jack: But my brain is really really telling me to tell you. Why does it do that!!??

me: I was the same way when I was little. I told my Mommy everything. Even all the dumb little details. I really remember that I HAD to tell her. If I forgot something I felt bad for some reason.

Jack: I feel that way now.

me: But you know what? She didn’t need to hear everything. It was okay if I skipped telling her some stuff.

Jack: (sniffing) Okay…I really want to tell you but I think this is my own secret.

me: I know, and it’s okay by me, so don’t worry, okay? If you change your mind I’m always here.

Jack: I don’t want to change my mind.

me: That’s okay too.

Jack: (looking like he feels a little better) I can think whatever I want.

me: Do you remember me telling you that?

Jack: Yeah.

me: Do NOT think about that pasta salad over there! Are you thinking about it?

Jack: (giggles) Yeah.

me: See? I can’t make you stop.

Jack: You could call the cops?

me: They can arrest people but they can’t make them stop thinking.

Jack: My friend said you’re not allowed to think in jail.

me: Not true.

Jack: Really? Okay… Can I have some time alone now?

me: Sure.

I watched him walk off to play with his pirate ship. He’s really growing up. I wish the police had a way to control that.