I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “sleep

4 Favorite Things…Boys Only Please

Jack: Try and guess the 4 favorite things of boys!

me: Let me see… Number 1 would be girls

Jack: You’re right

me: Number 2…food!

Jack: Yes! You’re good!

me: I know boys. So number 3 would be sleep I guess.

Jack: That’s a good one too

me: And 4 would be cars. (I was feeling pretty confident)

Jack: Completely wrong! It’s beating your last high score on a video game.

me: Oh, didn’t think of that, hmmm…

Jack: Well?

me: Huh?

Jack: Can I play one?

me: Sure. Just not a shooting game.

Jack: They’re ALL shooting games!

me: I don’t like shooting at people…how’s that?

Jack: Okay… (he gets on the computer and I check on him a few minutes later)

me: Hey what’s this? I said no people. What are you shooting at?

Jack: The “unfortunate”.

me: I don’t think I like this.

Jack: But it’s the game and it’s all cartoonish people! You’re trying to ruin the number 4 favorite thing aren’t you. Sigh…


5 most important things in life…according to a 7-year-old

 

Jack: (after eating a HUGE meal tonight) Sigh…food is pretty much the most important thing in life. (BURP!) Excuse me.

me: Hmm, really? What’s next on that list?

Jack: Then comes sleep.

me: Then…?

Jack: Naps. (looks at me) It’s DIFFERENT than sleep!

me: Okay, fine. Next?

Jack: Trees of course!

me: Huh? Why?

Jack: Because oxygen. Helllooooooo….!

 

 

me: Oh, okay. We do have to breathe. What’s next?

Jack: Rest.

me: I see a theme. What’s with all the “sleepy” important things? You’re always up at the crack of dawn. Sleep a little longer then!

Jack: Too much to do. Gotta catch the bus during the week and cartoons on the weekend. Sigh. The list is IMPORTANT things. Not exactly things I DO…sheesh…

me: Alright, settle down.

Jack: Tell me something I don’t know in the world.

me: Uhhh…(rapid thinking) When you get older, girls are gonna think you’re very handsome.

Jack: I said tell me something I DON’T know.

me: Okay. The definition of modesty.

Jack: Huh???


Would you call this spoiled?

Jack: Will you rub my back before bed?

me: Of course!

Jack: And my hair?

me: Totally. We can read a story and I’ll give you a little massage.

Jack: Awesome! Can I have a snack in bed??

me: No, this isn’t a day spa…

Jack: You can give me sips of water while you read and massage me. hahahaha!

me: Very funny. Even though you think I’m your slave, I’m not…

Jack: Remember, all moms are slaves.

me: Yeah…pffft…

Jack: Okay so start massaging! How about my feet?

me: Sure. Give me the little hooves…

Jack: Ahhh this is the life. Where’s the story?

me: I can’t massage your feet and hold a book, now can I? I was being a little ambitious. (I massage him for a bit)

Jack: (yawning) Jack getting sleepy.

me: Good. Have a good night sweetie…(I make motions to start leaving)

Jack: HEY LADY! I PAID FOR 2O MINUTES AND THIS WAS ONLY 10. WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL???


It’s almost time for Ho Ho Ho…

Step away from the cookies!!

Jack is SUPER excited for Christmas this year. He of course still believes in Santa, and is at that age where he is SO anxious to wake up and get his presents that he can hardly fall asleep. I love seeing the wonder and belief in his eyes!

I tried to wrangle him upstairs while making sure he didn’t sneak any more sugary treats! We made my chocolate chip cookies for Santa this year. No sugar cookies. Bleh. I’m full of that from Thanksgiving. They were good, but I wanted something different. I mean… SANTA wanted something different. Heh heh.

My family is staying over tonight so it’s the first Christmas for that, and the first Christmas without Jack’s Dad here. We’re making a new tradition, I can feel it. Jack was extremely excited to have people sleep over and wake up on Christmas morning with him.

Right before Jack went to bed we put out 3 chocolate chip cookies and a glass of milk for Santa. Jack Art Directed the arrangement. 🙂 Then he went upstairs and I got him (finally) into bed. My brother and I came downstairs, started eating the cookies and drinking the milk. Pitter patter of feet coming downstairs. GAH!!! Hide the evidence!! We were almost SO busted. SIGH!!!

Jack: Mom, I’ve been calling you!

me: Sorry, the dishwasher was on and I couldn’t hear.

Jack: I can’t sleep!

me: Jack, we just put you to bed 5 minutes ago. You have to give it time honey.

Jack: (plodding back upstairs) I’m having trouble breathing. (he coughs)

me: Okay, inhaler time. (we get that going)

Jack: My eye itches… (we get a wet paper towel)

me: Better?

Jack: My throat itches too… (Benadryl)

me: You did have some bumps on your lips, did you eat something funny? Maybe the glaze on the ham was weird?

Jack: Yeah, I feel allergic.

me: Its okay, just relax now and you’ll start to feel better and sleepy.

Jack: I’ve tried and tried but I just can’t sleep.

me: I know, it’s an exciting time. But you have to give Santa a chance to get here and deliver the presents, okay? Try and doze off.

Jack: Be warned, I might come out there to check the tree for my presents in the middle of the night.

me: No you won’t.

Jack: Sigh. Well, if I’m up at 6 I’m opening stuff.

me: 6:30. And you have to come get me first.

Jack: Sigh. It’s hard to wait that long.

me: Try and go to sleep while you listen for the sound of hooves on the roof.

Jack: (whispering) Really?

me: Yes, you’ll hear them tiptoeing across the roof trying not to wake you up.

Jack: (yawns) Whoaaaa….

me: Merry Christmas little man.

Jack: I love you. But can I just —

me: (interrupting) Not earlier than 6:30.

Jack: Aw man!

Jack said: I'm too old for writing letters to Santa. Then he proceeded to really attach 5 pages of things he wanted.

Proof (sort of) that I mailed Jack's letter for him.


Even when you can sleep in, you can’t really sleep in

Jack stayed at his dad’s place for the first time this weekend. (yep, he’s no longer living here). I was having mixed feelings about the whole thing, but overall I knew Jack would have a fun time, so therefore I didn’t worry too much. I had to get a grip on actually having FREE time. That is a very strange concept, since the last 6.5 years I’ve been on 24/7 Mom-duty. It’s a hard habit to break.

At 7am this morning my eyes flew open and I thought I overslept. For what you ask? Who knows! Internal clock has been set to wake between 6 and 7am for as long as I can remember. I expected Jack to come crashing down the stairs and into my room. But the house was quiet. I heard Ed meowing for his breakfast and Bella jiggling the doorknob trying to get in. That was it. Then I called Jack.

Jack: Hi Mom!

me: Hi Sweetie! Did you have a good night? Sorry I didn’t talk to you before you fell asleep.

Jack: That’s okay, we had to get everything set up and guess what! Dad has XBox 360.

me: Yeah I know.

Jack: I played Cars!

me: Cool. What time did you get up this morning?

Jack: Oh about 6am, I don’t remember.

me: I miss you.

Jack: Miss you love you and hope you had a good day and I’m going to play angry birds now and I already ate breakfast!

me: Take a breath.

Jack: Okay, bye, miss you love you.

me: Me too.

And there you have it. I survived the first weekend. So then I fell back to sleep (WHAT??) until almost 10am. Then woke up crippled from yesterday’s workout with TONY HORTON! Oh yeah!!!!! It’s a good pain. But I can’t wait to get my little boy back in this house to ramp up the mayhem. Ed just stares at me and then messes up the papers on my desk, and Bella continues to cough up hairballs all over the place. I’m losing my mind without the normal 6-year-old-boy craziness!