I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “tae kwon do

10 favorite lines of the day, including: Where’s your baby hole?

Don’t you just love the cross-eyed look that Jack always gives now? GRRRR!!! He usually pulls his ears and goes cross-eyed for every photo. Sigh. Jack got his red/white belt today at Tae Kwon Do, so this is a before pic of him with his brown belt. More photos at the bottom!

Okay, back to the title of this post. Yes Jack and I pee together still. I’m thinking maybe…no more? He was washing his hands while I peed and I noticed he was trying to see exactly (ahem)…well read the title of this post again. Soooo, I told him it’s in that general area. He cracked up and I think we just crossed that line of him peeing by himself from now on. Awwwww!!!

So that was number 10.

9. All the boy’s in my class don’t like kissing by the way, because I tried…

8. It’s my brain, NOT my skin that makes me do bad things!

7. You know, I say things in my head that I don’t mean. I mean, they’re NOT mean things, but I don’t MEAN them, and …eh let’s just change the subject.

6. Why do people care about grades so much? Getting a B+ still means you pass. Sheesh!

5. How were bad words invented? I just learned that “hell” was bad. Who the hell knew that?

4. Becoming fat on chocolate shakes…ahhh that’s the life!

3. Every boy tries to impress girls by acting strange.

2. Is it okay if I marry you someday? Wait, is that illegal?

1. I bet at least one person in this world has married their mother, right?

During the test

After the test!

How cute are they?

Advertisements

Why Jack needs a good master

All of us in the adult Tae Kwon Do class joke about how our instructor (Master) would make a great nanny. The kids listen to and respect him. They try their hardest to do their best in class. They do not talk back. Ever. If we threaten to call the master when they misbehave at home, there is a terror-stricken look on their face and they start to cry. I think we’re really onto something here.

The master does not yell or raise his voice even. He’s not mean, but he does point out the children’s errors, and makes them correct the problem immediately. I’ve seen him send a kid to sit against the wall for the entire class for not listening. I’ve seen him take another kid’s belt for sticking his tongue out at his mom. I think it’s worth the extra monthly fee just to have this kind of support system on my side! Do any of you have children in martial arts? Is it the same deal?

Jack recently came to my class and was playing in the background as we practiced. He decided he was hungry, and when I whispered that I had no snacks, he started to whine and cry. So I’m listening to the master as we practice our moves, but what I’m really hearing is “Mommmmmyyyyy, whine whine, MOMMmmmmmyyyyy, wahhhhhhh, sniffle whine cry, mooooommmmmmm….I’mmmm hungggrrryyyyy!” and so on and so forth.

Master: (stops class and looks right at Jack who is oblivious because he’s in full whine mode) Excuse me sir!

Jack: (jerks his head up) Huh?

Master: Did you say something sir!?

Jack: No sir! (immediately stops crying)

Master: That’s what I thought! (and we continue the class uninterrupted for the next half hour)

How can you NOT like that? Later I ask Jack how come he can listen to the master immediately but I get the whining and the carrying on.

me: Well, why do I get all the disrespect? Seriously Jack…

Jack: (gives his biggest smile) Isn’t this what you signed up for when you had me?

me: Grrrr…

 

 


Okay, some updates before Irene hits

She’s a biotch or so I’m hearing. I have a few updates to various things and I have to get them out before we lose power. 2 million without power in Virginia. Wow. I have a flashlight and a case of water. Think I need anything else? Sigh…

Well, Jack took his blue belt test on Friday, with a fractured arm! He did great. I however totally flubbed my green belt test. I passed, but for some reason, right in the middle of doing my form, which I have memorized like the back of my hand, I got dizzy or something so I sort of stumbled and looked down. Dammit. But still, I broke that board like an S.O.B! I asked when I would be able to work with the weapons (which usually comes at a higher belt). The master said, Um, I think you’re ready now. LOL! Do I have aggression? Yeah! Do I have a need to hit things? Hell yeah! Should I be trusted with martial arts weaponry? Probably not…

We also had a funny thing happen last week. Remember our caterpillar Chewbacca, and how he hatched into the most gorgeous white fluffy moth? I have more pictures of the release. We took the basil stalk out of the butterfly house and set it on the deck table. He kind of dried his wings for a bit. We got bored. We went in for a few minutes. When we came back he was gone. Bye Chewbacca! Then I grabbed the basil stalk to chuck it, and lo and behold, another totally different type of caterpillar was clinging to its branches. This one was green and smooth. I put it into the butterfly house, same setup as Chewbacca. Sigh. Am I a caterpillar safe house now? Jack named it Basil because it’s green and smooth and eats basil. Brilliant. Two days later, it cocoons. So I’ve included some photos of THAT. It’s like totally happening over here, let me tell you. I think Bloomberg is yapping on TV… The rains have begun and they’re so mad!

Jack: Will our roof get ripped off?

me: No.

Jack: Are we gonna have a bad flood?

me: No, we’re on a hill.

Jack: Is the power going out for days and days?

me: Probably not. We’re prepared if it does.

Jack: Sigh. Will school be closed forever??

me: Maybe just the first day. But you’ll have to make it up next summer.

Jack: Sighhh, what’s the point of a stupid Hurricane then! Sorry!

 

(click to enlarge the photos. Especially the moth ones, they’re so cool!)

Jack's last moves as a purple belt

Jack's breaking technique - Hook Kick

Jack's the only one looking at me.

Lookit the little fuzzy face

Too bad we didn't get to see him fly for the first time

The NEW caterpillar "Basil"

Basil's little cocoon. Wonder what he will grow up to be?


Jack’s purple belt acceptance speech

Jack: I like having my parents around for me, and my friends to make me feel good when I feel bad.

Everyone: Awwwwwwwww!

That was Jack’s speech tonight after he earned his purple belt in Tae Kwon Do. He got a very large purple trophy and had to stand up in front of the whole group with a few other friends that had earned their belts. The Master asked (I thought jokingly) if anyone wanted to give a speech. Jack raised his hand. I didn’t really know he had it in him, but fear of speaking in public is not something he needs to work on.

I actually wish he would GAIN some fear of speaking in public. Or out loud in class. Sigh. But this is my boy, and he stands out from all the other children in a class of approximately 16 that were testing tonight. He was the loudest, the funniest, the goofiest, the fidgetiest, and the roughest kid at the test. But when he kicked, he kicked the highest, and when he did his form he was the toughest and when he broke his board, he was the most focused. He got all A’s on this test, and we couldn’t be prouder!

The practice axe kick

Just about to break his board with a back kick

Jack with his belt, trophy and Master Kim


He totally said this…

me: Jack, how come in Tae Kwon Do class you keep looking back at the other kids? You know you always get in trouble for turning around…

Jack: That’s because I’m looking at Eric and trying to copy what he’s doing.

me: But you’re a very good student and you don’t need to copy anyone.

Jack: (gives me an actual pity look) Mommmm, I try to copy everything he does, because…and I really do this almost every day of my life, because then if I do exactly what he does I can read his thoughts and then I can have mind control over him.

me: ?

Jack: With mind control, you have everything.