me: Um, are you done in there??
Jack: Yeah. Can you —
me: (I interrupt) No, you wipe your own butt please.
Jack: (coming out of the bathroom, shirt off, shorts off, underwear half on) I am Undie Man!!!
me: (chuckling) Saving the planet in your undies?
Jack: (raises his hands over his head) No!! Undies halfway down, I am terrorizing everyone!!!
me: Sigh…