I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! And…Traditions?

   
 Which is to say, we don’t have any, but would certainly like to hear yours if you want to share in the comments!

Jack and I don’t really do anything special on Thanksgiving. Either I cook and invite some family over or we go to someone’s house. I make corn soufflé and apple leek stuffing and a few pies. That’s about it. We don’t play football or watch football or really do anything regularly each year except eat and clean. Or maybe drive.

This year, Jack made the 2 pumpkin pies all by himself and wanted zero help. He forgot the eggs which occurred to me as I put them on the oven. SoInquickly pulled them out and added two eggs to each right in the pie plates. That was pretty funny. We tasted one last night and seriously it was the best pumpkin I ever tasted. Better than my own even though he used my recipe!

Jack was sort of careful with measurements so some spices spilled over the edges of the measuring spoons. Whatever he did really worked! So he was really proud of it. 🙂

I made sugarless apple pie and that is always good. Like seriously good. You do not need sugar in that pie people!!!

We woke up this morning and decided to get some exercise by taking a walk around the block. We played frisbee as we walked. Jack got bored after 2 houses. Sigh…

Jack: I’m going home.

me: We just left! No, we’re doing this walk.

Jack: I’m tired.

me: So let’s walk slower.

Jack: Oh! Dina’s out! Can I go play over there??

me: After we walk. Sure.

Jack: Sigh…Go across the street and I’ll throw the frisbee to you. (He proceeded to throw it behind me so I had to stop, turn around and go pick it up after every two steps.)

me: Jack, throw it ahead of me so I don’t have to go back and get it. (He then threw it to me at an upwards angle so it boomeranged back to him just missing my outstretched hands each time.)

Jack: You have to jump mom!

me: Throw it straight with a wrist flick, not a full arm swing. Then it’ll reach me.

Jack; You didn’t teach me frisbee you know. That whole flick thing isn’t teaching me anything.

me: Try it. (He flicks his wrist and all the throws go perfectly to me.) See??

Jack: I’m bored.

me: Let’s run to the corner up there and then do a spectacular frisbee throw at the end.

Jack: No.  I have a cramp. From walking.

me: Which way do you want to go? The end or up the hill?

Jack: The shortest way. 

me: Naturally. 

And there you have it. Our new “tradition”. We went back home and ate some more of Jack’s pie. Yum. Now in the car to drive to another state!

Happy Thanksgiving!


Why I’m thankful for the sh*t Jack says

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Happy Turkey Day!

I decided to start a new tradition and have Jack type something to all of his fans on Thanksgiving, because he should be thankful that anyone even reads this sh*t. 😉  (Sorry, mommy is swearing…)

I’ll see if jack is up for the task! (looks like he is! you lucky audience)

Before I let him take over the air waves, I will say that I’m thankful for having a little boy that gives me enough excitement and mischief that I have been able to fill an entire 5 years worth of cyber space with it. He’s smart enough to keep me guessing and never lets me get complacent. God forbid I sit down and actually read a book while he does everything asked of him without complaint or needing “help”. Which just means “stop sitting down and reading and come watch me brush my teeth or I’m gonna flop on the floor with the cats until you put the book down and get up and come over here and make me brush my teeth…” Sigh. The joys of parenting, eh? But we all signed up for this, right? At least my childless friends tell me that. haha.

Here’s Jack:

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Hello everyone from…. I don’t really know where, but this thing————>    (mom) says there is a lot of people who read this 🙂 🙂 🙂     Happy thanksgiving to everyone who celebrates it and I’m currently trying to get my mom to leave me alone. GEEEEEEEEEEEZ! But anyway lets get to things I am thankful for:

#1 MOM (not all the time) but none the less she is AWESOME!

#2 lots of PIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#3 the cats who wake me and this thing——-> (mom) up every morning at 5 am. Sadly though, it doesn’t matter what day it is. Even Christmas. Again, GEEEEEEEEEEZ cats! take a nap, and when you wake up, sit in the corner and think about your life!

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#4 Biscuit my hamster, even though he goes CLACKCLACKCLACKCLACKCLACK! on his water bottle every morning at 6:00. I once counted and I got 367 clacks. oh, and his cage smells like turds.

#5 DAD

#6 FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#7 Family

There is snow so I’m going outside, and I will see you all next year! BYE!

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And, there you have it. Sh*t Jack says, right from his own little mouth. He is currently playing Lego City Undercover on his Wii, and doesn’t know that I have a boatload of chores for him in a few minutes. (evil laugh inserted here)

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For those of you around the world that don’t officially celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you take a tip from us over here in the USA (Because this is one thing we actually do get right! Not all of us want to melt the polar ice caps or start another world war …) Use this day to figure out what it is that you are truly thankful for. We’re only here for a short time, a blip, and it would be nice if our blips were spent enjoying what we have, being grateful for what we’ve worked hard to obtain, and being thankful for those we care about.

Now go hug your kids and your pets! (Just be gentle with the hamsters…)

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Jack is thankful for…

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Jack: Mom, we better not do that fake thing at thanksgiving where we ask what everyone is thankful for. No one tells the truth. I’m thankful that we don’t have school. See? That’s what the truth sounds like.

me: Awesome .

Jack was also thankful for the Mad Libs that we did around the table, taking turns to pick the words. Read it out loud and enjoy! Guess which part got the most laughs!

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Happy Thanksgiving! Who’s thankful for sunsets? Not Jack.

View from my front door

 

That’s kind of a theme I’ve found on blog posts recently. A LOT of people are thankful for sunsets. Because they’re beautiful, or because it means the kids might be asleep soon? Or both? Hmmm…

me: Wow, check out the amazing sunset!

Jack: Eh.

me: You can look away from Sponge Bob for thirty seconds you know.

Jack: (glances over his shoulder) Wow.

me: Heartfelt. Truly.

Jack: I don’t like sunsets. They bring me closer to school.

Sunset from the back deck.

 

In the spirit of giving and sharing and all that, I’ve decided to link up to some blogs with amazing sunset photos, and then show some of my own favorites. Just because.

1. Marcelle Calder Photography (Very good sunset photo! Well, they better have good photos…”photography” is in the title!)

2. Sunday Best (First of all, how stinking cute are they! Read the “Where in the World” tab. We’ll have to talk about that Russia trip one day…)

3. Whatever – The Nourishment is Palatable (Interesting blog, cool sunset!)

4. Tuesdays in Templeton (I just found a “no bake” pumpkin pie recipe on her “Tuesday Fan Recipe” sidebar. YUM! Plus she’s a MASShole like me, or so I assume she is because she’s from Mass. Hmm.)

5. Claire Olinik – A journey in pictures (A girl starting a new chapter in her life, and documenting it with photos. Good luck to her!)

Sunset in Wellfleet, Mass. "The Cape!"

The Cape

This was taken in Florida. Near Boca Raton. The sun is starting to go down...

...and now it's almost down...


How NOT to deliver a Thanksgiving pie…

Yep I baked a sweet potato pie for the first time ever, and I’m delivering it to my brother’s house tomorrow with a slice missing. If I blame Bella, will they believe me?

 

10 minutes ago:

Pie comes out of the oven. I’m starving. Haven’t eaten a real dinner unless you count the lime-flavored Tostitos that I ate while I was baking. Do the math. I’ve never baked this kind of pie and was hesitant to deliver it untasted for real actual people to taste! It’s really good by the way, maybe a bit too sweet. Note to self to cut down sugar to 3/4 cup.

 

1/2 hour ago:

Me watching Howie Mandel (wtf??) on his new show “Mobbed” while said pie is baking away in the oven, making the house smell incredible might I add. Ed loves when I watch TV, which is never ever, so he will come running from wherever when he hears the pop/whiz of the TV coming on.

 

3 hours ago:

Me racing around Stop & Shop looking for the last few ingredients needed for the pie and a few other dishes I’m bringing up to my brother’s.

 

4 hours ago:

Sitting in spectacular traffic coming home from the train station. It’s raining. Everyone and their mother is out on the road. Heading in my direction. Why am I even here?

 

5 hours ago:

Standing room only on the return train, after delivering “the package” to Grand Central Station. Check out the new display for Apple. Cool huh? Can you see what’s under the sign? Look closely. Sort of under the word “Soon” and to the right a bit. Armed mo-fo guards, that’s what. Guarding the sign? Who knows. They didn’t look happy when I took this photo.

 

6 hours ago:

Jack: We’re gonna miss Dad!

me: No we’re not, his train isn’t here yet. Let’s go look at the Train museum store.

Jack: Yay! I love that store! Can I get a T-shirt.

me: Of course…We’ll find one with a #7 line on it for when you turn 7. Now remember, NO eating or drinking in the store and do NOT touch the displays. They get all violent when that happens.

Jack: Okay!

Jack eating goldfish while looking at the train display in the Transit Museum.

Jack now trying to touch the trains. Sigh. See the big guard with the black jacket and white shirt coming to get him? I pretended that Jack belonged to another mom for a few minutes...

 

7 hours ago:

Jack (aka The Package): Mom, can I play on your iPad?

me: In a few…I have to finish this email. Look out the window.

Jack: Train windows are BOR-ing. How about now? You done??

me: Grrrr…

 

8 hours ago:

me: We have to get going Jack, or we’ll miss the train.

Jack: (grabs a book and heads into the little bathroom)

me: Sigh. (glancing nervously at the clock)

Jack: Okay I’m readyyyyyyy!

me: Bout time. Let’s hop in the car.

Jack: But wait, I want to have a fun Thanksgiving with YOU!!

me: I know, but you’ll start a new fun tradition with Daddy and Grandma…

Jack: You better not bake any pumpkin pies without me! Or you’ll just have to do it all over again when I come home.

me: (!)

 

Hence the idea for a sweet potato pie. Like that roundabout story? I’m tired. The fact that 8 hours ago we were just GETTING OUT THE DOOR to the train exhausts me, because before that I had to go load up my car with garbage for a trip to the dump, get gas in the car, drop off packages at UPS (all before work people!), then go to work and ACTUALLY work! Then race to pick Jack up from school, yadda yadda yadda, start at the top of this post and read again. I may just go eat another piece of this pie. Seriously, I baked it. Why not!