Jack: Hurry! I don’t want to miss the bus!
me: The bus left 15 minutes ago…I’m driving you remember?
Jack: But how will I show my friends this cool journal?
me: I guess on the ride home?
Jack: I’m planning on calling out sick today so you’re gonna pick me up.
me: Oh really? That’s news to me.
Jack: My sneaker’s untied…
me: Tie it.
Jack: But I’m holding all this… journal…
me: Sigh. Here give me… You’re a big boy and you know how to tie these, right?
Jack: I tie them every time I have gym class.
me: Okay, see? Then you can tie them in the morning too… Here, all set.
Jack: I tie them in gym because it gets me out of the stuff that I don’t like to do.
me: Huh? What are you talking about?
Jack: If they’re doing something boring or too hard, I just stop and tie my shoe. They don’t wait for anyone and they keep going, so I just keep tying my shoe until they’re doing something I like.
me: Wow. Way to work the system.
Jack: That’s what I thought.
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 