I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “time out

Even Sinbad gives parenting advice

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Sinbad: How old is your son?

me: 8.

Sinbad: What’s the worst thing he’s ever said to you?

me: Oh man (my family cracks up) there’s so much to choose from… I guess I’ll go with “you’re annoying”.

Sinbad: What!? He said that to your face?? Let me tell you…if that boy was in a black family… He’d only say that one time.

me: (laughing)

Sinbad: So, what did you do for punishment?

me: (sheepishly) Um time out?

Sinbad: See?? You just gave that kid some uninterrupted time to sit there and think how annoying you are. Here’s what you do… Next morning when he comes down for breakfast tell him there’s no food, because you didn’t want to ANNOY him with it. See how he likes that. Do it again at dinner. After a week I bet he’ll stop saying that word to you!

(Everyone is howling with laughter)

Sinbad: Or, just duct tape him in the time out for two days because you didn’t want to ANNOY him with getting up and down.

me: (still laughing)

And later that weekend…

me: Hey Jack, remember the comedy show I went to? I got some good advice from the comedian on how to stop your backtalk. Wanna hear?

Jack: Oh great, what ANNOYING advice did the “funny man” give you…(he actually air quoted)

me: Never mind. Sigh.


1st July quote of the day

Jack: I’m kind of not liking how you think I need a time out because I think it’s YOU that needs a time out for going crazy on me!


Quote of the Groundhog Day

It was a rough day. Things did happen repeatedly and I felt like I was living the movie version of Groundhog Day. (love that movie btw…) Any of you have that weird feeling today?

Jack: I know my time out is over and you’re gonna blahb at me about what I did wrong, so can we just get to the point so I can get up and not waste the next 20 minutes of my life. This just gets me closer to my death you know!!

(P.S. Repeat at least 2 more times and you’ll see how my night with Jack went.)

(P.S.S. Don’t drive angry…)


If it weren’t for time outs, I’d never get anything done

me: Jack, you’re in a time out for 6 minutes because you were very rude.

Jack: You know I don’t think about anything when I’m in a time out.

(to myself: Ohh, I can unload the dishwasher!)

 

me: Jack, we don’t hit! Go have a seat for 6 minutes.

Jack: Yeahhh, I know all about it!

(to myself: Blow-dry hair and get dressed…that should take about 6 minutes!)

 

me: Jack if I have to ask you to brush your teeth one more time, you’ll have to go sit for 6 minutes.

Jack: Fine! I’ll brush!

(to myself: Am I secretly hoping he’ll make me ask again so that I can put him in a time out? I need to update my blog.)

 

Hmmm, I’m not admitting to anything, except I have noticed that I LOVE the peace and quiet (most times) when Jack is sitting on that bottom step. I say “most times” because some times he pounds on the wall or stomps his feet or screams like a maniac, OR dismantles the spindles on the stairs. Other times I find him upside down on his head in a sort of yoga position. Whatever works for him!

I was timing myself and I actually completed this post in under 6 minutes! Next year we add one more minute to the time out. What can I accomplish with that much time on my hands?