Conversations

Wipe my butt

Jack: I’m done!

me: Wipe your butt and I’ll check…

Jack: I’m not wiping THAT! It’s gross!

I walk in the bathroom, Jack is on the toilet, bent over double at the waist, reading a book that’s on the floor. Ow.

me: Sit up, come on. Wipe your butt and I will check. (he uses TP and I double check with a wet wipe)

Jack: UGH gross!

me: It’s your butt. You’re in charge. Let’s go.

Jack: Wait I have to pee again.

me: (I wait a minute) Okayyy, done?

Jack: No. I said I have to pee.

me: It doesn’t take that long to pee. Come on so we can clean you up.

Jack: If I’m in charge of my butt, then I’m also in charge of my penis!

me: Sigh.

Conversations, Uncategorized

2 songs about toilets?

Jack: (singing) Girl look at that potty. Girl look at that potty… I work out!

me: (lmfao) Jack! It’s “body” not “potty”! Hahahahaha!!!!!

Jack: Well they have the other song that’s Potty rock is in the house tonight! So what about that??

me: It’s “party”. Sigh. Do you have to pee or something?

Jack: No! Why are you correcting me??

me: Don’t whine about it, I’m just telling you the real words.

Jack: I’m not whining I’m griping!!

Potty Humor

Potty humor

(All photos are from "foundshit.com". I like that name!)

No really, this post IS about the actual potty. Sort of.

We all know that kids love to dawdle as they conduct their business. No one is better at this than my little boy. He pretty much has a working library, NASA station, lego factory and art center at his disposal, within a few inches of his special potty. It’s in the “little bathroom”. Maybe he feels cozy in there because it’s the half bath without a tub or shower. Once he goes in, I simply sigh and go find something else to do for 20 minutes, like blog! Or laundry!

me: Hurry up sweetie, we have to get going or we’ll be late!

Jack: (doesn’t look up from his etch-a-sketch) We’re always late for something.

me: Ha ha. Seriously, can you move it along?

Jack: How can I move this along. I’m trying!

me: Sorry, okay but just finish up.

Jack: I’m done. I’m just waiting to pee.

me: (I wait a second) Okay? All done?

Jack: I said I’m WAITING to PEE!

me: When, tomorrow? I think you’re done.

Jack: It’s on it’s way. I can tell.

me: Sigh. Seriously, if you have to wait that long, you can probably get up and go again at school. Come on please.

Jack: No. (he gets a look of utter concentration on his face)

me: It really shouldn’t take that much work Jack, it kind of happens on its own when you REALLY have to go.

Jack: Oh I really have to go.

me: Well if we’re late, you can tell the teacher why it happened.

Jack: Mom, you can’t rush a natural body experience!

Ed and Bella would go nuts for this one!
I need this.
I'm not sure what the remote is for...
...this one time, at band camp...?