One Tough Mudder and one Tough Mother


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Come on, you know I have to say it that way. Our trainer at the gym never got the hang of saying Tough Mudder…it was always “Quit whining, you guys wanna live through this Tough Mother event don’t you?” We’d all yell out “Mudder!” And he’d make us do 100 jump squats. So we stopped correcting him. But let me tell you, those jump squats got our fat butts up Gunstock Mountain in NH 4 times in 4 hours. So, yeah…

Anyway, if you hadn’t already guessed, I completed another Tough Mudder event. 1.5 times to be exact. Sort of . Ha. We finished the first 12-mile course and then decided to run back to the start for some more fun. After about 5 miles, we headed downhill to the shuttle buses. Yeah, we were beat. It was 95 degrees on that mountain yo! But, once again, all the cuts and bruises were well worth it.

Jack spent the weekend with his dad and again missed all the fun. I had the weekend that was a comedy of errors…first when we got locked out of our condo because we finished the race first and our teammate had the key…second, when my neighbor called to tell me that Jack’s sitter locked the house up and didn’t give him the key, thereby leaving our pets without food (meaning I needed to drive home that night instead of staying over until Sunday)…and third…yeah I did drive home that same night, 4.5 hours, getting home around midnight, to realize that yeah, my keys were locked in the house too. I had no spare. The garage clicker was locked in the garage. So I did what any other tough mother would do. I threw a brick at a window. Only to watch it bounce off, repeatedly. We have the safest house on the planet. I then picked up a huge garden wall rock and hurled it at the back door window. Bounce. Sigh. My neighbor came out and asked if we needed a glass cutter. He’s good like that! We scored and scored (well, okay, he did) and then we smashed it with a hammer. Do you know what happens to glass like that when you hit it with a hammer? It goes freaken everywhere. My entire kitchen, hallway and deck were buried in glass shards. (typed that as “sharts” like 3 times ha ha)

So…after 2 hours of cleaning up glass (I hadn’t even SHOWERED yet people!) I then was able to clean mud out of me privates and go to flippin bed. Who else could do all that in one day. Pfft, not a DAD! 🙂 Kidding. Settle down.

Okay, I needed to get that out. Thanks.

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Today I was talking to my mom on the phone. Jack was reading and eavesdropping. He’s awesome at that!

me: So, yeah, we had a fun time up until we had to smash the back door in to get into the house. … Yeah, I’m getting a quote from the guy on Saturday to fix it.

Jack: (pops his head up from his book) Whaddya mean…quote? You mean like “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country???”

He’s playing JFK in his biography presentation next week. What can I say. He is SO in character.


Happy Mudder’s Day!

Come on, you know I had to do it.

My Mother’s Day was … ok. I spent a lot of time working, so it wasn’t really a day of rest. I still have hours to go before bed. Sigh…

But Tough Mudder is over, so I can sort of be normal again, right? A whole weekend of torture, that I paid for? I won’t tell you then that I think I may be signing up for a 26 mile beast of a course in September. It’s kind of addicting. Heh heh. I’ll slap some photos in here to show you what my two teams looked like before and after the events. Keep scrolling…

Day 1 – Before the event – Decked out in fake staches, because we’re cool like that. Me, my brother in red, and my boss in blue:


Day 2 – Before the event – Entire work team in neon green…though some people are hidden. I’m right in front of course. We had like 16 people. My retinas have still not recovered:


I’ll bring this back around to sh*t Jack says, by giving you a little taste of what I’ve been hearing in the last few days. Good stuff I tell you!

Jack: There are two things I’m worried about. One is Walmart…why do we hate them when their commercials look soooo good?? And the other is heart attacks.

me: Hm. Ya got me there.

Jack: And another thing…If aliens aren’t real, then WHY are there SO many pictures of them? Hmmm?

me: Uh…

Jack: Why don’t they just close down the Bermuda Triangle if people keep disappearing there?? Sheesh!

me: All very good points. I’ll have to get back to you on that. (looking for bottle of aspirin…)


And because this is all that’s been on my mind for the last few months…here are the rest of the pics. Notice how cave-like and smokey my hair gets in the “after” photos. Not sure why I didn’t tie it back this year. I guess I forgot.

Day 1 – During…me running, still clean at the start:


Day 1 – After the fire walk and then at the end. Whew:


Day 2 – During… The ice dunk tank (aka Where Sandy Almost Died…she’s the one with me jumping)


Day 2 – Me getting electrocuted, and then the ravishing effects of electricity on my hair. Still smoking a bit there. Oh and notice my rock star belt! Some kid tossed it on the trail in a fit of rage. I of course accessorized!




How a trip to the library and grocery store can prepare you for Tough Mudder

me: Hey, did you pick out your books yet?

Jack: What??

me: Books, books did you pick them?

Jack: (not paying attention) yeah, yeah, over there. 8 of em.

me: Wow…heavy…sigh…let’s go check out.

Jack: I’ll carry this one I’m reading!

me: Gee thanks…Hey, I need to stop next door and get milk.

Jack: Can we walk?? It’s sooo nice out!

me: Yeah, good idea. (we walk to the store and I do my shopping, picking up more than I had planned!)

Jack: (watching me pack up 4 brown paper bags) Hey, didja forget we walked here? Who’s carrying that?

me: (pausing) Oh crap! Sigh…well I guess we have to push the cart down the street. Oh joy.

Jack: But that’s far!

me: Yep. Ok, let’s go.

We start walking down the road between the store and the library. Cars are slowing down, people are looking…So embarrassing…

me: Ugh, we should have driven!!

Jack: Then consider this your little training for Tough Mudder!