me: (unpacking Jack’s backpack after school) Hey, did you use this water bottle at all? It’s still full.
Jack: Uh NOOOOO! You packed a TOY Story water bottle. How embarrassing! I would rather dehydrate.
me: You know, I thought of that as I packed it, but we were in a hurry. Sorry sweetie. I’ll only use generic water bottles ok?
Jack: Well, the Toy Story one is okay for home, you know?
me: I know. Did you eat your applesauce?
Jack: Oh yeah, how about not packing the MOST embarrassing spoon of all! I was picked on by the WORST kid in my class because of it.
me: What? I just gave you the small metal and green spoon.
Jack: Look closely. It has tiny reindeer on it.
me: Hahahahaha! Sorry, I didn’t know.
Jack: (not smiling) Are you trying to get me killed, or do you just hate me.