Health

A big hefty shot of rude

Today I had to go to the health center to get my shots for my upcoming trip to Russia. (Two weeks sans Jack…what will I do???) My regular doctor can’t, or won’t, give out any travel-related inoculations. So off we went today after school, Jack sitting with a snack and a book in the backseat, and me reading my blurry Google map. No GPS yet. Anyway this is a main sort of health center that treats a variety of, shall we say, cases… I was ushered past a few different waiting rooms to the empty travel vaccine waiting room. The other rooms were quite full.

Jack: I can’t wait to watch YOU get shots Mommy.

me: Watch how brave I’ll be. For some reason shots don’t bother me.

Jack: Well they bother ME!

me: I just think about something else. Now be a good boy while they do the shots okay?

Jack: (adjusting his halo) Okay Mommy.

The nurse calls me in, and prepares 4 shots. (ugh). I would rather be safe then sorry on this trip so I opted to get everything that she recommended.

Nurse: Now how old are YOUUUU? (I ignore her thinking she’s talking to Jack) Uh, excuse me…Ma’am? How old are you?

me: Oh sorry… I thought you were talking to my son.

Jack: Ha ha ha, Mommy’s so old she doesn’t know to pay attention. (he and the nurse have a good laugh over this one)

me: Very funny.

Jack: BUURRRRRPPPP! (the nurse jumps)

me: Jack!

Jack: (silence, while the nurse looks horrified)

me: Jack!!! Where are your manners.

Jack: Oh, Excuse me. It’s okay because my mom farts in my face all the time.

me: JACK!!! Can you stop being so rude!!?? I’m sorry, I’m not sure what’s gotten into him. (I stare daggers at him)

Nurse: I have grandchildren about his age, so none of this fazes me.

me: Oh, good. Geez, he’s usually not so blatantly rude. (yeah right)

Jack: I’ll just go read these books near the door okay?

me: Please do! (he wanders over to a rack of pamphlets)

Nurse: All set.

me: Thank you.

Jack: (reading from a pamphlet) Mom! What’s oral sex if you’re a gay man with STDs? What does that stand for??

me: GAAAHHHHH! Give me that!!!

I dragged him out mildly horrified at what else he might have been reading in that 2-minute span. Do we ALWAYS have to be on guard? Always?? I know the answer is yes, I just wanted to vent.