Your big fat butt

Oh that’s right, I said it. (snap!). You have a big butt.

And by “you” I mean “me”.

At least according to some little person I know, who stands about ohhhh … butt high.


Jack: Hey can you move it?

me: You mean excuse me?

Jack: Yeah, if you were smaller I wouldn’t have to say excuse me.

me: Thanks.

Jack: (walks around to stare at my butt, and then pokes it) Your butt is big.

me: Is this how you want your night to end?

Jack: (poke poke) You should lose some weight.

me: You do know that grown ups are bigger than 6 year olds, right?

Jack: I know that! But still, maybe a diet?

me: And we’re stronger. (he doesn’t get the hint…)

Jack: (looks at my front) Why do ladies always have to lose weight?

me: Who’s telling you this by the way??

Jack: No one! I made this up all by myself.

me: Great. I happen to think my butt is the perfect size for my body. Thank you very much.

Jack: It doesn’t matter if YOU think it’s perfect, it matters if OTHER people think it is.

me: Sigh…

(click if you dare)


The art of Suffrage

me: (driving with Jack) … and then we have to return your Smurfs disc because it’s overdue…

Jack: Can we get another movie?

me: Library’s closed. Maybe we can get something from Red Box?

Jack: What like your Dexter number 5?

me: Season 5. Already got it.

Jack: Is he a bad guy? What’s it about?

me: It’s about the Miami police department. He’s … kind of a good guy.

Jack: Then why’s he always covered in blood?

me: What??

Jack: On the movie case.

me: Oh. He helps people that were in accidents and stuff.

Jack: What movie can I get? Am I old enough for PG?

me: Sometimes…depends…we’ll have to see what they have.

Jack: How about old fashioned movies?

me: What about them?

Jack: Are there any at Red Box?

me: What do you mean, like that YOU can get?

Jack: I don’t know.

me: I don’t think you’d be interested. We’ll see if we can find a kid’s movie.

Jack: How come you’re always in charge of what we get and not me!?

me: I’m the mom and I’m in charge. Forever.

Jack: Okay then, how about we just pick an old movie like waayyyy back when women couldn’t vote or something.

(Is he putting me in my place, or what??)