I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Fragments of a croupy day

Jack was home sick with croup today. Ugh. A more horrible sounding cough I could not imagine. I had to put Jack in a steaming shower at 3:17 a.m. to get his chest to open up. That, plus an inhaler did the trick and he got back to sleep… luckily. Today was spent mostly in front of various videos… Toy Story 1, a couple Cliffords, some Benji (totally rocking the 70’s over here) and some Nick Jr. on the computer. We also played Star Wars, truck delivery, army, tickle torture, Go Fish and War. As usual, Jack had comments about everything. I hope I can remember them all!

 

(In my bed this morning…Jack with a snack and book, me with the pillow over my head.)

Jack: (rooting around in the bowl of snacks) Really, is this the best you could do?

 

(Said while we played Star Wars…we created a Millennium Falcon under the dining room table and the living room ottoman was the Death Star.)

Jack: I’m Chewbacca.

me: Naturally.

Jack: Who are you?

me: Gee, as you only allow me two choices…

Jack: No! You can be Princess Leia OR Queen Amadala!

me: (I just stare at him)

Jack: Oh. So be Jar-Jar. Isn’t he a girl?

 

(Said while we watched Benji…totally groovy music btw. I almost had to gouge my ears out.)

Jack: (enraptured by Benji running) Dogs have off-road paws.

 

(We played army with a U.S.A. side and a Russia side. Jack is always U.S.A.)

Jack: Here, you’re Russia. (he tosses me a blue and yellow plastic flag)

me: This isn’t the Russian flag though.

Jack: So? Who cares? They lose at everything anyway.

me: Nice.

 

(Said while we played War, which, for the record, we HAVE played before. Many times.)

Jack: What’s this game?

me: War? Remember?

Jack: I never played it. What do you do?

me: The highest card wins? You really don’t remember this?

Jack: If I played it before I would remember it. Remember I said I never played this before?

me: Yeah, but you have played it.

Jack: (flipping over yet another war with me) This is Awesome! Do I get all these cards because I have an Ace??

me: Yes, you won. You always win. Remember always winning before??

Jack: Ha HA! Look at how big my pile is? Mom, where is your pile??

me: Sigh…

 

(Jack was the delivery guy. I sat in my office and pretended to order stuff. He likes that I hit “order” and he knocks on the door immediately. Like in Bugs Bunny or the Road Runner…)

me: (click!) All ordered. I wonder when my …

Jack: Ding Dong!

me: Wow is this the delivery guy already?

Jack: Yeah, here’s your mineral water?

me: I thought I ordered shoes?

Jack: You don’t wear the shoes you have.

me: Gee I wonder where you got that line? Thanks for the water. You’re a cute delivery guy, give me a hug Jack.

Jack: Mom, that’s gross and WEIRD!

 

(We played Go Fish. Jack refuses, adamantly, to say “Go Fish”. He will do anything but say those words.)

me: Any ten’s?

Jack: (making a buzzer sound) Aaaannnnnhhhhhh!!!!

me: Do you mean Go Fish? Can’t you say Go Fish? I can’t tell what that sound is.

Jack: That’s a losing sound. If I go “ding-ding” then that’s a winning sound.

me: Sigh.

Advertisements

4 responses

  1. Damn he makes me SPEECHLESS.

    July 25, 2011 at 11:04 pm

  2. jon phillips

    hes gotta get a mohawk like me 😀 hahaha

    July 26, 2011 at 10:38 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s