I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

Posts tagged “love

Lick my tooth, and other words of wisdom

Have you missed us? Or did you not notice we were gone for a few days? Jack and I headed to Orlando for a long weekend… VERY hot these past few days. In Epcot we scooted through the sun from one air conditioned bliss-filled building to the next. It totally makes me appreciate Fall in New England. At least we have some oxygen up here. There was literally none down in Florida. We gasped for 4 days.

So, since the hotel didn’t have any wi-fi (well any convenient wi-fi) I opted to skip posting for what might be my longest stretch of time since I started this blog! If you find a longer stretch of time, just let me know and you’ll win some sort of prize. Seriously, I’m cleaning house over here. Never know what I might send you. I’ll have Jack autograph it of course, unless it’s perishable…

Jack: Awwwww this front tooth is sooo smooth! It’s a butter tooth! Here feel it.

me: Um, I believe you…

Jack: No you gotta lick it to see how smooth it is

me: I’m good. No thanks.

Jack: But you will never see how smooth it is.

me: It’s your little secret then.

Jack: Can I have a drink of water?

me: You just had one. I don’t want any accidents tonight.

Jack: But I’m like totally dehydrated and might start over hyperventilating!! (he clutches his throat)

me: I think you’re fine actually.

Jack: ACTually, it’s way worse to be dehydrated than to have a wet bed, so I think I should have the drink. Would you rather me die all dried out, or be alive enough to wet my bed.

me: Fine. (I get the water)

Jack: If I tell you things that way, you find it very hard to resist me.

me: Ha! Okay, goodnight mister.

Jack: Wait. One more thing! Does a girl tell a boy she loves him first or does the boy say it first??!!

me: Oh no, we’re not getting into this tonight. Goodnight!

Jack: (peeved) I’ve worried about this for years, so I guess I’ll just have to worry a lot longer!

me: (making my escape…)


Jack will make a great husband…

And now I have proof! Remember Jack’s marriage proposal?

Well, check out this little surprise. Our blog, and Jack’s marriage proposal of course, was featured today on Stuff Kids Write! It’s the cutest little site and one of my new “best finds”. There is always something there to entertain me, and the comments are usually laugh-out-loud funny. Go check it out!


Can’t make this sh*t up

I was just sitting here a few minutes ago, wondering what my topic would be…when Jack called me up to his room… (and sigh, he’s calling me again…hold ON!) Okay, back. It’s one of THOSE nights. You finally get the child to bed at an early hour and then you’re up in their room time after time. Here’s what happened the first time.

me: Hey what’s up?

Jack: I’m not tired.

me: But you’re yawning like crazy so your body is VERY tired.

Jack: Can you hold me in the chair like when I was a baby?

me: Really?

Jack: Yes, that will help me get sleepy.

me: Okay, just for a minute.

Jack: Can I tell you a secret?

me: Always.

Jack: I think the girl in my tae kwon do class has a beautiful face. Did you hear me just say that?

me: I heard. That’s sweet. She’s also a wicked kicker.

Jack: Yeah. Sighhhh…

me: Always thinking about these girls huh?

Jack: Yeah, I can’t help it. I try and then it gets worse.

me: I don’t expect it will ever get better.

Jack: Oh…Sigh….

me: Okay, enough rocking, time to get back in bed.

Jack: Can I keep more secrets from you?

me: More? Well, I guess I would never know, now would I.

Jack: Or should I tell you?

me: Try telling me this time, and if it doesn’t work out the way you planned, then next time don’t tell me. How’s that?

Jack: That’s good. You know the Madeline movie?

me: Yeahhh…?

Jack: I’m thinking of ALL those girls at the school.

me: (yikes) All of them?

Jack: Yeah they’re coming over to see me.

me: (gulp) How come?

Jack: To do … stuff … (he buries his head in the blanket)

me: Stuff huh? For your sake I hope stuff equals smooches.

Jack: Lots of smooches.

me: (sigh) Okay tuck in and think about that… I guess … and you’ll get sleepy.

Jack: It makes my heart hurt.

me: I know sweetie. Enjoy it now while you have it easy.

Jack: I know this will be easier when I’m older!

me: (Ha!)

 


Casanova (names changed to protect the innocent)

Jack: Sooo, your friend Cathy?

me: Cathy? You mean Matt and Steve’s mom?

Jack: Yeah…she’s beautiful…

me: (alarm bells) Yes, she’s pretty…

Jack: She married?

me: Uh, yes…to Matt and Steve’s Dad, remember?

Jack: (thinks about it for a minute) But she can get divorced, right?

me: You thinking of making your move or what? You’re 6 Jack.

Jack: I knoooowwwww! (he looks perturbed) Well, anyway, she’s on my list.

Jack has a “list” of people that he wants to marry. This list may or may not include a robot and cartoon character, along with people 5 times his age. There are some age appropriate little girls on his list too. Whenever we go somewhere, if Jack spots someone cute, he looks at me and says “LIST”! Mom’s are always supposed to know their little boy’s lingo.