Jack and I were driving home from his rowing practice the other night. Well, he was driving and I was pretending to not be scared. Kidding. He’s not bad for a beginner driver. I’ve seen worse adult drivers with years of experience. Trust me!
It was an amazing day, sunny and warm, and the sunset wasn’t going to happen for at least another hour and a half.
me: Jack, when we get home you should come for a walk with me and Moca.
Jack: No thanks. I want to shower and eat, I’m starving.
me: How about 10 minutes. Just to enjoy the last nice hour before it gets dark.
me: 5 minutes? We can walk around the yard?
Jack: Geez, I literally have to tell you “no” more times than YouTube premium offers. Come on!
February blew right into March and now look where we are! My last post was Feb. 1. Wow, how the time flies and how busy we’ve been! So much has happened in that short couple of minutes since I last wrote…
Some of us have started our COVID vaccines, we’ve got a driver’s permit test on the horizon (omg), SAT’s happened, Jack did great, Jack’s rowing practices started up again, a few babies-to-be have been announced in my family, work trips are planned for the fall (what???), it almost deceivingly feels … normal-ish.
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We see what’s happening in the rest of the world so we’re not out of the pandemic woods yet. But, it’s nice to see the season’s start to change from cold to slightly less cold (LOL spring in CT is not a thing). We had some amazing warm days and today I wore the full winter coat, hat, gloves and even had snow pelt down on my car! It’s just a cruel cruel season switch as always. And then it becomes 90 degrees and humid.
Ok, enough about the weather. How are YOU doing? We haven’t connected in awhile! Leave a comment about what’s new with you and how you’re handling 2021 so far!
School is still remote for the rest of the year, our choice. In the fall Jack will be in 12th grade. Full time in-person! That will be strange. Right now we’re two remote workers who pass each other in the hall in our sweats, carrying mugs of tea or hot chocolate as we shuffle to the next class/meeting. Very strange indeed, but I gotta say, the animals LOVE having us home. They are so spoiled with attention, and Moca gets walks all day long. PoBo and Luna are taking turns going to the ER because they are so EXCITED, they want to eat ribbons off of packages and have surgery, or run and do a flip off the balcony to break a foot bone. It’s been so FUN!
My COVID stimulus checks are directly proportional to the vet bills I’ve paid in the last year. 100%. Sigh.
So, this was a conversation that I had with my friend Kris, who showed me a post where some mom took her kids’ text messages and made them into wall art. Some were crude, most were funny, and any mom of a teen could totally relate. That led to me spending literally an hour on my phone combing back through my texts to find these “gems” of Sh*t that Jack Said!
Hope to leave you on a cheery note. 😉
(There are just so many, I could make like 10 posts out of this! Maybe I will post a wee bit more frequently now!)
For clarification…I’m blue.
There are a few more, well quite a bit more actually.
Wow, I was just thinking back over the many, many years of blogging that I’ve done, and how I should be in sort of a rhythm with this… yet I almost forgot to update the title to Sh*t My 16 Year Old Says! I’ve done this every year right after Jack’s birthday but for some reason almost forgot. So, yes, Jack is 16. Sixteen!!! How many of you can even believe you’ve been reading this for so long. It’s all been a blur on my end. Ha!
It has been a long time omg. I know URL says “6 year old”, but trust me I started on Blogspot with “5 year old” and then changed the URL when I moved to WordPress. I still regret that 11 years later, but ah well, I don’t have a time machine and can’t go back to change that.
Jack had two friends over to celebrate his birthday, which was last week, and it was nice to have noise in the house. I mean, the animals are noisy, don’t get me wrong, but this was good to hear after the many months of COVID-related semi-isolation. It’s really getting to us!
We went to a store yesterday and we had to think back to the last time Jack was in a store… I swear it was like 6+ months ago at least! All those things we used to take for granted and now it’s like a HUGE deal to walk around shopping with a mask on and following arrows and keeping 6 feet away from everyone.
I’m happy to report that the GIANT cake we had last week is finally gone. The boys at the last of it along with many other carb-loaded food items.
I have to say, listening to these guys talk while they ate dinner, and then breakfast, and again when I drove them home, made me realize just how different their conversations are compared to the conversations I had when I was 16. I mean really, cultural appropriation? I don’t think so.
Jack: Is this Despocito?
me: Absolutely. Don’t hate on this song.
Friend 1: Totally cultural appropriation but I’m not gonna hate.
me: Cultural appropriation because they’re singing in Spanish?
Friend 2: But Bieber didn’t know Spanish before this song and he had to learn it.
me: Well, he learned it to give the right flavor to his song. That’s awesome. Madonna did it back in the 80’s with La Isla Bonita.
Jack: Yeah but cultural appropriation wasn’t a thing back then.
Friend 1: Hello, the Native Americans!
me: We’re just singing a song here that combines two languages, so we can take it down a notch. What about Run DMC and Aerosmith mixing rock and rap? That was the best!
Jack: (switches the conversation) Something something Mandalorian…
They all jump on board and talk Star Wars.
me: That should be your new podcast since your gaming podcast kinda dried up.
Jack: Guys, we should totally do a Star Wars podcast.
Friend 2: I don’t know as much about it as you.
Jack: Oh yeah, get this, my mom roasted me in the bank the other day. I was getting my debit card and they were giving me $1.00 to put in my savings so I could use the app and do the transfer, and my mom goes “Hey, that’s more than you earned on your podcast.”
Friend 1: That’s cold yo.
I honestly could listen to these guys all day. They want on about annotating something for some class and again it was just so different from what I talked about at that age. I still can’t believe I have a giant 16 year old in my house. He’s upstairs on XBox right now, being quite loud, laughing with whomever he’s playing with. Good times. 🙂
We’re so happy to put 2020 behind us and look forward to new beginnings in 2021. Nothing immediate has changed, and we’re still working and schooling remotely and still facing the stress of this pandemic, but we have a chance to make this year as good as we can.
Last year ended with us all doing things in ways that we would never have predicted… school fully online, no winter indoor sports or gym training, no big family parties, and no staples like going to the movies, or waiting in a crowded line to get into a popular restaurant for a crowded and noisy dinner. Everything we did was quieter, more home-based and with smaller gatherings, etc.
We still had a great Christmas, and stayed up to ring in the New Year (albeit with the slightly creepy and mildly deserted New York Times Square broadcast…). We’ve un-Christmassed the house and it’s been back to “normal” for a few weeks.
Jack’s birthday.!! 🥳🥳🥳
Oh, and this year is the first of the BIG ONEs. 16.
The 16th birthday is more important, I think, for girls, because it’s their ‘sweet’ 16 (I wouldn’t dare call this Jack’s sweet 16 birthday haha), but it is symbolic just the same because now Jack will be old enough to get his driver’s permit. And, in the US and Canada, we think this is a cause for celebration! Yikes! I’ve seen my share of teen-related accidents in my town and even in my neighborhood. Not fun! But, there’s no stopping it.
And, Jack’s girlfriend turned 16 in November AND is driving, so Jack has some catching up to do.
In a few months Jack will take his driver’s permit test. The next available opening is in April, so we have some time to prepare ourselves and Jack has time to study. Those pesky questions about how many feet you need to park away from a fire hydrant (10 I believe?) and how many seconds you need to wait after passing someone before you can pull back in front of them (No seconds actually, you have to wait until you can see both headlights first…) are waiting to trip him up.
But, Jack is determined and has been studying already and also quizzing his friends that have already taken, and passed, their permit tests. He should do fine.
Getting a car will be the other fun task this year. Some things have me wishing it would stay 2020 a bit longer.
One of the things Jack got for Christmas was a shoulder bag (cough, man purse). I wasn’t sure he would like it so naturally I bought two! One for me! And it turns out he did like it. On the way to. Ew York last weekend he came downstairs with it sling around his shoulder cross-body style with the “purse” bag part in the front.
Jack: This is so convenient! Look, I have my phone and my air pods and… I don’t have to dig around in my pockets.
me: And that’s why even carry purses.
Jack: I totally get it now! Everything is literally right here!
Hahahaha, how funny. And Jack also got a rowing machine for Christmas, which sits right in the middle of the living room. So very convenient. Right?
Tomorrow I’ll make Jack’s yearly physical exam which always makes us laugh as we remember the horrors of past appointments and worrying about the dreaded “shots”. There is literally nothing on this earth that Jack was more afraid of than getting a shot. Nothing. The day after an appointment in which he did get a shot in his arm, Jack would start crying about the next year and possibility of another shot. I had to calm him down time and time again. This year we drive past his doctor’s office.
me: (pointing) It’s time.
Jack: (looks over and sees the office building) Noooo.
me: Yep, you have to get your physical soon.
Jack: I am not getting any shots!!!
me: I don’t know about that. It might be time.
Jack: Well I’m not getting the finger prick!
(Umm, you know…The tiny one they give you to take a tiny drop of blood?)
me: Geez Jack, that doesn’t hurt.
Jack: Yes it does. I’m not giving any blood. They can just use my blood from last year.
And, there you have it. Though he’s 6-foot 2, he’s still my little boy.
And it will soon be time for me to change the blog header haha. 11 years! Wow.
Did you all have a happy, albeit slightly different, Thanksgiving? We did!
For the first time ever it was Jack and his dad plus me and my dad! (Jack’s grandfather.) Weird right? Sort of like the island of misfit toys but we made it work. 🙂
We had a turkey fiasco, a mild cranberry sauce issue that turned into a last minute dash to the store, and more food and pies than 4 people would need in a month, let alone one day.
I did most of the cooking (ok all of the cooking) and it took the better part of two days. I didn’t mind though! And naturally, we finished off the meal in under 30 minutes. We are notoriously fast eaters in my family so I wasn’t surprised. We could not even think about having seconds, so in the hopes that we could stay at the table just a little bit longer, I sent Jack up to his room to find an old Madlibs book, where you fill in the blanks with nouns and adjectives to create a wacky story.
Jack ran back down the stairs with a Star Wars Madlibs book and we had some fun with that for awhile. Yes the grosser nouns and weird body parts always make for an interesting story at the end.
We had just finished a story and hadn’t even cleared the dozens of dishes off the dining table when Jack made his announcement.
Jack: It’s time.
me: Sure, after we clear this up. (I waved my hand over the table and Jack groaned.)
Jack: That will take forever!
me: Well let’s get moving.
So, we all cleared and carried, washed and dried, divvied up food into containers for the dads to take home, and realized just how small our fridge really is.
Jack looked at me. I raised my eyebrow.
me: OK! Who wants pie??
Apparently it was only me and Jack who would be shoveling pie into our pie holes.
Apple and pumpkin pies, both baked the day before, both with their own issues due to poor planning. Sort of like the turkey and cranberry sauce.
I thought I had canned pumpkin but only had canned pumpkin pie mix. Ew?? I thought I had evaporated milk but only had sweetened condensed! Double Ewww. I thought I had Macintosh apples but only had Cortland… where is my attention to detail this holiday season? Gone!! So I improvised and doctored and made it work. They were both really good and there will be only crumbs left I’m sure.
Today we packed up both our dads and sent them home and forgot to give them pies to go with their many containers of stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, sourdough stuffing, corn soufflé, turkey, squash, rolls and cranberry sauce. No pie!!!
When we walked back in the door today, Jack looked at me. I raised my eyebrow.
We had it for lunch and then decided to kayak in the Saugatuck River, just because. It was that kind of day.
We hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and now get to enjoy the nice long weekend!
And here’s a hint, if you eat all the pie in one day, you won’t have it calling to you for three more days! 🥳😂😇
I came home from work the other day and was finishing up a phone call in the car. I could hear faint music coming from somewhere. I checked my car radio. Wasn’t on. I checked my work phone and personal phone in case Spotify was running… nope. Was my neighbor playing classical music while he worked outside? I opened the car door and could hear the distinct strains of… an alto sax. Jack’s alto sax. He was playing up in his room and the window was open allowing me to hear his band class in progress. Virtually of course.
Jack opted, with permission, to attend school 100% remotely, which was a change from the 2 days a week that he was going into school. There was a documented case of COVID-19 at his school, and we just didn’t want to play the odds. If his grades started to suffer, we would opt back into school at the next trimester. So far, he’s holding it together.
Jack: (via text to me while I was at work and he was at home) LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO
I looked above that text and saw a screenshot of an email from his band teacher saying that his “zeroes” for participation for forgetting his sax (when he made the choice to stay home and left his sax at school), would be changed to 80’s after Jack made a convincing argument via email to his teacher. Probably saying it wasn’t his fault, etc. etc.
me: Hey, not bad Jack. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and got the grades changed. I almost thought the letter was going to be a bad one.
Jack: You can get the teachers to do anything these days if you mention a hardship or COVID.
So, back to the car. I got out and walked into the garage. Hmmm, the door was open. That meant that Jack…actually walked Moca?
The laundry was running… he did his wash and put the clothes in the dryer??
I was feeling a bit faint.
I looked in the kitchen. The dishes were put away. The dishwasher was EMPTY.
Jack came downstairs.
me: Are you in between classes?
Jack: Yeah. For… about 3 more minutes.
me: What happened today? Everything was done?? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Jack: No, I just knew you would tell me to do it all anyway so I just figured I would get it done.
me: Wow thanks.
Jack: Soooo, since I’m not going rowing today can I play X Box for awhile after school?
Jack is still practicing German on the Duo Lingo app and I’m getting pretty far along with French on the same app. (#2 in the Sapphire League yoooo!) I think Jack is also doing Spanish… Ambitious kid…
He was practicing his German in the kitchen while I made dinner. I had just come home from work, and in the car I was listening to our old Tae Kwon Do CD’s for fun. I heard all the classic up-tempo music which brought me right back to my martial arts class, when we used to have fitness days and were allowed to rock out to “Western” music. LOL!
Katy Perry, Firework… Justin Timberlake, Bringing Sexy Back… etc.
I was in the kitchen singing Ke$ha and Pitbull’s song “Timber” and heard Jack practicing his German. I started singing Pitbull in a German accent … “Sving your padner rownd and rownd”, I was really not realizing I was doing it hahaha.
Jack: Can you please not sing Pitbull in German?! I’m trying to practice here!
me: Sving your padner rownd and rownd, In dem Zahn Zvischenraum! (adding a little German dental speak in there from when I was in Cologne haha)
me: Okay sorry, geez.
Jack; I really need you to not be doing that right now.
And, my fun time was cut short by the tall boy. I bet he went up to his room later and started humming my version of the song. LOL!
Yes camp! They had some that were actually going on in person this summer! The kids would arrive, mask on, get their temp taken at the curb, get hosed with hand sanitizer and then get ushered (at a safe distance from the other kids) into the building.
So, we were on our way to art camp! Yes ART camp! Jack took portrait drawing and ink illustration and finally spray paint/graffiti classes. I was so excited for him. And he actually loved them.
Ok…soooo we were almost there and it was getting really bright and sunny all of a sudden, so I reached for my sunglasses.
Jack: Ohhhh, you have THE sunglasses.
me: Thee what?
Jack: THE sunglasses, you know…?
me: No I don’t. What glasses do I have?
Jack: Haha, THE ones…
me: You mean lesbian sunglasses?
Jack: (almost spitting out the water he was drinking.) NOOO! Uggghhh hahaha, the other kind.
me: Ummm. Gay? Because I’m not, you know…
Jack: (ignores that) But you don’t have the hair to go with it.
me: To go with WHAT? Geez, we’re pulling in here so you have about 5 seconds.
Jack: Karen sunglasses. THE sunglasses that Karens wear.
me: Ha! Oh really? These are considered Karen sunglasses?
Jack: Yeah they’re not lesbian sunglasses.
me: Well good because I already have a Subaru. And I do know a few Karens that are lesbians!
Jack: On that note…
He hopped out and took his dose of hand sanitizer like a pro. They looked quizzically at the thermometer for a minute and I thought he might have registered on the infected scale, but he was good to go.
I hardly think my sunglasses are Karen style but I’m going to have to pay closer attention when I hear an outburst from someone in public.