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Need to upgrade my wardrobe

OK, just to cover myself, I spent a lot of time walking my dog. A lot. It’s cold outside, there’s slush and ice and snow and wind and rain and fog and mud… And I hate being cold. So this year I started to wear snow pants basically every day while walking Moca.

It makes it less unbearable. So on the few days this year so far that have risen above 30, it has been a luxury to not pull on a giant pair of snow pants and winter boots. Last week we had such a day. I was able to wear sneakers… Sneakers! I haven’t worn sneakers on a dog walk in months.

When I returned, Jack and I had to head to his friend’s house for a sleepover. I looked down. Black spandex pants… ok …. old beat up Nike’s… a little sketchy looking, and fluorescent pink socks… definitely not ok.

me: Oh geez, look at what I’m wearing. I was so happy to not be covered by snow pants that I forgot you can now see my socks… and these sneakers are awful! Ugh!

Jack: Mom, it’s ok. Remember what you just said… usually you’re wearing SNOW PANTS! Even when it’s not SNOWING! What you’re wearing now is way more normal.

me: Thanks. I guess??

And then the rest of the year I wear shorts!

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Super Bowl 52 and why we are sad

Jack and I wanted the Patriots to win. I’m from MA and the Patriots are my team. Even though I rooted for the Raiders my entire life because they had “cool” black and silver uniforms.

Also my first Super Bowl (well, the first I paid attention to) was XV, Raiders vs. Eagles. The Raiders killed the Eagles 27-10 and I was always so happy about the Eagles losing. And Jim Plunkett.

So this year, I’m kinda going back to my roots as a Masshole, and a hater of Philly. Hater for no other reason than me remembering what it felt like to be 13 and rooting for a winning team.

We were sad to see the Patriots lose. It was another good game and we were hoping for the same ending as last year. Woulda been great Tom!

me: Jack, what are you doing up there… bedtime!

Jack: Drowning my sorrows…

He was upset that the Patriots lost, and apparently there are a lot of rude Philly fans in 8th grade.

Jack: They’re all gonna be so obnoxious tomorrow. Sigh.

me: Ignore then.

Jack: You’ve obviously never been in 8th grade.

Obviously. Haha.

Throwback Thursday – Minecraft Style

OMG you have to read THIS BLOG POST from when Jack turned 9. I should have a statue made for me since I’m headed to saint-hood… Ignore all the swearing of course.

🙂

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Happy Birthday to my Teen!

Yes everyone, hold onto your hats. Jack turns 13 today. This makes 8 years of blogging for me! Originally started as shitmy5yearoldsays, this blog has been my one true outlet for all things Jack. And doesn’t he say a lot of … SH*T??

Yep.

Still going strong.

I asked Jack to name one thing he’d want the readers of his blog to know about him since he’s now a teenager (well at 4:36pm he will be… we are sticklers for time in this family)

Jack: I have nothing to say.

me: For the first time in 8 years.

And there you have it.

Happy birthday Jack!

Test grades and why studying is so important…

Jack: Mom, I got back a Spanish test today.

me: Oh yeah? What’d you get? (Usually Jack trucks me into thinking he did poorly when actually he got a 100.

Jack: 15 out of 30. So not very good.

me: Really? How come you didn’t do that well, did you not study? I don’t remember you studying here so I hope you did in school…

Jack: Not Really.

me: Jack, if you have a test then the days leading up to the test are for studying. You know that.

Jack: it’s usually easy but I did t understand the questions. Oh and by the way, I have another Spanish test tomorrow.

me: Come on Jack, time to study! Get out your book and I’ll help you.

We flip to the page and I start to read exclamations in Spanish which have two answers to choose from as responses. You have to pick the most appropriate response to the first sentence.

me: Okay tell me what this means.. (I read the first exclamation.)

Jack: That means My feet are sore.

me: Ok answer A. Says Don’t take off your shoes and B. Says Take off your shoes. Which is the appropriate response?

Jack. A.

me: Huh? Jack, their feet hurt so why would you say to keep your shoes on. It’s B. Take off your shoes. I can see why your grade was low, it’s not Spanish we need to work on it’s your English! Sheesh.

Jack: This takes place in Argentina, which is full of broken glass probably, so they shouldn’t take their shoes off.

me: ??

Jack: Ok read the next one.

me: (reading poorly in Spanish) Ok what’s that mean?

Jack: it says “I’m tired”.

me: Answer A. Says to go to bed and answer B. Says to get up. Which is the correct response?

Jack: B.

me: Seriously? It’s A Jack… He’s tired so he should go to bed.

Jack: When I’m tired you make me get up for school so A is the right answer.

me: Grrrrrrrrrr…

School lunch woes

Jack: ugh I ate too much at lunch today. It made me kind of sick.

me: What did you have?

Jack: Stomach pains.

😝😝😝

Zelda Breadth of My Patience

Or Breath of the Wild as it’s more commonly known. My name is more accurate though…methinks? (I’ve also called it Breath of the Bad, Death of the Wild, Life and Death, etc, hahaha… Jack didn’t find it funny.)

me: Time to turn off the game Jack.

Jack: Can you give me 5 minutes to get my horse to a stable?

me: Really…

Jack: It’s a really good horse. Don’t worry, I’ll be fast. I have to register it.

me: As what, a sex offender?

Jack: (looks at me)

me: Well geez… what does that even mean?

Jack: I have to register it as mine so no one will take it. What should I name it?

me: Joe.

Jack: (silence)

Game: Yaaaahhhh!

me: What is that noise.

Jack: Nothing to see here…

me: Oy.