I started this blog when Jack was only 5 years old! And, still, I can't make this sh*t up!
Jack and I are heading to Cape Cod to stay at the house we used to rent when he was little. We haven’t been there in quite a few years! So exciting!
Jack is currently driving and I’m blogging…
me: Is this car comfortable for you to drive?
(He’s a giant)
Jack: It’s ok.
me: What would you change if you could?
Jack: I’d make it a 6-cylinder Mercedes.
😑
Jack: (looking at used cars on his phone) How much should I spend on a car?
Me: What? You’ll get my car when you’re able to have one on campus.
Jack: But what if I want a NICE car.
Me: you think you can afford something nicer than a 2019 Subaru, loaded?
Jack: (keeps researching) Hmmm, what kind of car payment do you think I can afford?
Me: (silence)
Jack looks over at me. What??
Me: it depends how much money you make at your JOB. (Of which he has none).
Jack: (visibly deflated) Point taken.
Me: Monthly payments assume you have monthly income. Free car sounds pretty good eh?
When you’ve never really worked for a living, you kind of don’t realize that everything you do depends on how much money you make.
As it turns out he dies still say sh*t even while away at college 😂
Jack and I were talking on the phone earlier. He was getting ready to start packing for his spring break rowing trip and was debating whether or not to get some homework done before break or after, and then was worried about an egg sandwich he took from the dining hall.
Me: Dis you start packing yet?
Jack: No, I have time. I’m wondering if I should go do my homework at the Q center now to get it over with.
Me: That sounds like a good idea so you won’t have to think about it over break.
Jack: I’m not thinking of it at all.
Me: Well if you have time to do it then pack.
Jack: I’m more worried about this egg sandwich.
Me: Uh, what?
Jack: I took an egg sandwich from the dining hall and it’s going to sit here for a week.
Me: So eat it.
Jack: It’s cold.
Me: So heat it up! 🤨
Jack: oh yeah I could eat it now.
Me: Or wrap it up and take it in the van as a snack later.
Jack: I just said I’m eating it now.
Me: Sigh. Ok. Give your dad a call too before you go.
Jack: I would but you’ve been talking forever.
Me: Oy! Ok byeeeeee.
Jack: Oh wait I have to tell you this funny story. This guy was using the bathroom at work and the lights went out so he took a spooky dooky. Hahaha!
Me: Wasn’t that what happened to you last summer.
Jack: No it was some guy on Twitter.
And there you have it, the last mom son convo before Jack’s first ever spring break trip.
Spooky dooky…. geez….
Jack is doing great in his second semester at UConn. He’s planning to spend spring break with the rowing team at camp in South Carolina. I wish I was going away on spring break!! It’s still icky and cold here but I heard it’s not exactly hot down in SC. But definitely warmer than CT that’s for sure.
I was trying to get the full scoop about the trip from Jack this week so I know what’s happening and when.
Me: Where’s the agenda? Like what’s the plan?
Jack: There’s this creepy presentation I can show you that has the info in it.
I start flipping through. It is weird looking but I keep going to see if they tell the kids what to pack and what to expect, etc. I get to a big checklist.
Jack: Woah, I didn’t even see that!
Me: Come on, did you not go through this? It has everything you need listed out here.
Jack: Well it kept getting stuck on one page so I gave up.
Me: Nice. Lucky for you I got this far into it. So what’s the driving situation? Does everyone take turns or what?
Jack: We’re driving down in vans and it’s about 12 hours to get there.
Me: Who’s driving?
Jack: The older guys. There’s a driving buddy that has to stay awake with them. Then they swap. There will be lots of breaks.
Me: I can’t believe you’re all leaving at 5pm on a Friday! Like wouldn’t it be better to leave in the morning, miss all the traffic and actually drive during daylight?
Jack: There’s these things on Friday called classes and exams, Mom.
Me: Oh yeah.
Jack: They told us we needed to bring a sleeping bag and mine’s at home and dad doesn’t want to drive it to me tomorrow.
Me: I guess you’ll have to bring the blankets from your bed then.
Jack: Nah, I rented a sleeping bag for $12 from the school.
Me: Okayyyy… maybe want to wash it?
Jack: No way I’m waiting for a sleeping bag to dry tonight Mom.
Me: Good point. Well, ok have a good night and don’t forget to call me before you leave tomorrow.
Jack: How can I? You call me like 3 times a day already.
Me: 😬😬😬
Yes, it’s been a few minutes since I have written y’all. A LOT has happened in a very short year. A lot. 🙂
How was your 2022? I hope it was easy and breezy.
Our year was typical of any family with a teen graduating and moving to college. All the end-of-year festivities, prom, graduation, summer vacation, summer job, choosing a college, preparing to pay for said college, planning to MOVE to college, you get the idea right?
(Some fun summer vacay pics)
Throw in a dash of, oh I don’t know, SELLING our home at the same time and moving to another town. Yeah that can throw a monkey wrench into things. Jack moved to UConn in August, I packed up and moved out of my home at the end of September…yep moved an entire house by myself…and then traveled for work, came down with COVID and suffered for a few weeks, ugh. Jack got sick in December over Christmas break. Then all was well and we settled into the “after Christmas” lull looking forward to the new year. Enter new year, and my fun spinal injury from a few falls and a few crazy workouts.
And we then celebrated Jack’s 18th birthday in January! I kinda re-injured my back driving for 3 hours to his school for a family dinner. Driving with your left leg can do some damage when your right leg goes numb, so that was a bit dumb on my part. Oy!! So I was injured up until today actually. Just got myself a nice spinal injection to help with the hot mess that my back has become.
Oh and BIRTHDAY PICS! This would be the first year I did not share a photo of the birthday boy and the CAKE!
(OK, I smushed it a bit getting it out of the box.)
Sooo, with all that going on, I have finally found the mental strength to catch you all up on all things Jack! He is still saying sh*t, though it’s less and less sh*t and more and more smart college stuff 🙂
I had this brilliant idea that we would close off the blog with one last post that we would collaborate on. We really meant to, really! But then all the stuff above happened and we really just could not come up for air. And now, I’m sitting on the couch with a semi-numb leg (It’s supposed to clear up in a few days) and Moca the ever-present doggie by my side, and I felt like writing! Finally! But, Jack isn’t here. Soooo….
But, he’s coming home weekend after next. Yay! Then we may do that collaboration. In the meantime I’m shopping for blog book deals because why not! We were featured in the amazing book “Breaking Good” by Madeline Ashe, and you really really must go read it and you’ll feel like Jack is a character in the book because the little dude is based on him. I mean how cool is that!?
And also because there is a new movie out with Reese Witherspoon and Ashton Kutcher, and yeah she’s blonde and her name is Debbie (not the cool way I spell it), and her son is named Jack, and he has glasses and all the fun allergies that my Jack has. Maybe they found this blog too and wanted the likeness as well. Who knows? They didn’t ask haha. Nor did we get credit. But alas, there are other Debbie’s and Jack’s out there so I can’t really complain.
Back to my Jack though. He’s doing so well in college, he’s rowing for the school team and just generally being a great human being which I am so proud of.
(Graduation pic again because I love it soooo much!)
Here are a few things he’s texted me in the last few weeks, which is our main way of communicating, along with some phone calls. He’s still hysterical, and will always be uniquely…Jack… 😉
I sent Jack a text of a map, showing the rowing camp “Bob” area he planned to attend over spring break with the team…
Jack: Provides context to nobody. (sends me an image of someone praying). When you beat the camp bob allegations.
me: What?
Jack: Scale? Location?
me: What allegations? Google it on the map for scale and location. It’s your camp.
Jack: My bruh, you are already there.
me: Look it up on your schedule. (I send him a zoomed out map so he can see what he already knows… as in… where the camp is)
Jack: Ah, so literally nowhere.
me: Yeah, on a lake.
Jack: Yes.
me: Sigh.
Another fun exchange, I asked him to give me a call before bed to say goodnight. Yes, I missed him! He left a weird message with a lot of motor sounds like brrm brrm brrm.
me: Btw I so look forward to your voicemails to hear your voide and I save them forever. (annoyed emoji)
Jack: Is this sarcasm?
me: Yes.
Jack: Gotcha.
me: Bur really leave me real ones.
Jack: When I’m famous that’ll be worth millions.
me: beeebeeeeeeebebebebebebebebeb
Jack: If I leave enough they can make an album too.
me: (blank face emoji)
And one more fun back and forth with a political spin haha.
me: Good morning, how’d you sleep?
Jack: I was up watching the state of the union.
me: Oh I didn’t. How was it???
Jack Shame on you. Naysayer of democracy. I’m just kidding it was fine. Capping insulin cost at $35.
me: ok…
Jack Minimum 15% corporate tax, high tax enforcement if you make over 400k.
me: Woah.
Jack: Yeah.
me: No one in our family makes over 400k
Jack: Nice.
I’m hoping when he’s home in a few weekends we will really sit down and collaborate! Not sure if we should officially end the blog, but it’s been tossed around. We shall see! If any of you want us to continue into college days, send me a message, I would love to hear from you. ::
Goodnight all!
I’m assuming this is the end. Anything is possible but when Jack leaves FOR COLLEGE next month, I mean, what other shit can I write about? Will he even call me regularly, never mind provide actual instances that I can quote from for this blog? Hmmmm…
A LOT has happened since May the 4th, my last post. It was a literal whirlwind of activity for Jack’s end-of-senior-year activities, graduation (OMG!), prepping for college and waiting for acceptances to come in, selecting a college (UConn-Go Huskies!) and a major in Engineering, oh and just a few other things like selling our home of 18 years!! Yea it’s been crazy and if you add in a few vacations and Jack’s summer internship, there’s hardly enough time to squeeze in a little blog post.
Jack also finished his rowing career for now. His club had an end of season banquet and they wished all the seniors well and sent them off with some nice parting gifts. It was a fun chapter in his life. Jack wont row for UConn (“they practice at 5am Mom!!!”) even through I really wanted him to try. Ah well. 🙂
Jack is currently in DC for a VHS Collection concert and mini vacay with his dad. nice right!!??
But the weeks that we have left to pack and purge and move Jack to UConn and us out of the house are so few.
me: Jack, when you get back from DC we really have to get your things packed for college and your room packed for moving.
Jack: There’s plenty of time for that.
me: Ummm there are only two weekends left until we go on vacation and then come back and move you to UConn.
Jack: Oh that’s plenty of time! I have all the nights after I intern plus I have Fridays off and then those two weekends. My room won’t take that long.
me: But there’s the entire house to do, not just your room.
Jack: Isn’t that what we pay movers for?
me: Gahhhhhhh!
Text from Jack from awhile back 🙂 I’m blue.
Meaning a game he was training on lol.
Happy 4th! 🙂
I picked Jack up from school today, and, well ok, actually I forgot to pick him up because I was on a work call and so he had to text and call me to remind me to come get him. i felt terrible!
Jack: Geez mom I’m your only son, how do you forget me? I’ll be gone soon enough!
(Referring to college, where he will be in August. Helloooooo 4 months!!! And Hellooo UConn!)
This was said as we were driving home from me finally picking him up at school. Ok actually he had walked partway home so I actually picked him up on the side of the road. heh heh.
Anywayyyy…
I had on my usual work-from-home ensemble of hoodie, baseball hat and sneakers. And pants. Definitely had pants on.
Jack: Mom. Turn and look this way for a second.
me: What? Why, do I have something on me?
Jack: (poignant pause) You know, you really have Grandpa’s facial features.
Now, mind you, at this moment Jack’s college career was about to become a distant dream and I was visualizing how much yard work I could make him do as penance.
me: But, Grandpa with definite feminine flair, right? (As I flipped my second-day pony tail in his direction.)
Jack: Oh yeah, there’s a flair.
Now at that point, a school bus came roaring by and it distracted me, so I didn’t notice until just now that I didn’t get a very clear answer on that last point. a flair, hmmm?
Yep, of my siblings, two of us look like our dad and two of us look like our mom.
me: Well you look a little like your dad, but only because you’re male and have his hair color and wear glasses like him. And have a giant head like him. The rest is ALL from me! And … Grandpa apparently.
😬😬😬
He didn’t have much to say about that!!!
Jack and I took a walk with Moca last week when it was in the “warm” high 30’s. A very brief respite from the frigid cold and wind that is Connecticut in February, which can take us down to 0 F very easily. I was telling him that since having Moca for over 5 years now, and walking her multiple times a day, I’ve gotten used to the weather patterns and even the fluctuations in wind and temperature in our very own neighborhood! It’s crazy!
Trumbull, CT is a town that sits very high above sea level compared to all the neighboring towns that spread right down to the coast of Long Island Sound. We get the snow first, we get ice first, we get the Chicago style wind (definitely don’t have their pizza) and we sometimes ironically get warmer weather first. (Maybe we’re closer to the sun? Haha)
We had on winter coats and hats (due to the wind) but we warmed up as we walked and the sun hit our black jackets. Also, Trumbull is very hilly so you huff and puff sometimes as you walk. At least I do! Jack warmed up pretty quickly. it’s misleading and eases you into a false sense of comfort. Grrrrrrrr!!
Jack: My jacket is like a pressure cooker. It’s absorbing all the heat. It’s SO nice out! I might even be sweating a little.
me: Wait until you turn the corner and the winds hit ya.
Jack: You sound like an 1800’s pan handler.
me: The winds will be a turnin’! Haha.
We turned the corner and started up a steep hill.
Jack: It’s definitely not cold here Mom. (he unzipped his jacket and turned his face into the sun) Ahhhh…
me: You’ll see. (I hunkered into my jacket and pulled my hat a little lower.
We crested the hill and the full cross wind hit us in the face while the sun still tried to warm our backs. We were heated up from the exertion yet now were turning cold from the wind hitting our face at about 15 degrees colder than the air temp. Basically your sweat now starts to freeze. On the same walk. In the span of 15 minutes. You’d think we were on Mt. Washington!
Jack: Ugh! My face os literally freezing, and my back is sweating!
me: See? I told you. I know the wind pattern here. Wait until we go down our hill.
Jack: I’m still trying to figure out how I’m overdressed and underdressed at the same time! He was fumbling for his jacket zipper while he said this.
me: Oh, almost forgot. This is the part where you have to walk backwards.
Jack: What??!!
😆😆
I picked Jack up from rowing practice today after work. In the winter they workout at a gym and lift weights and use the rowing machines, etc. Not as fun as being in the water!
(Side note, Jack is in my shower singing “That’s Life” by Frank Sinatra at the top of his lungs. He’s got a great voice, and can definitely sing the low parts haha.)
Anyway, we got home and I remembered the cleaning girl had been there. (I’m allergic to dust!! Don’t judge!!) 😆 She’s amazing and even makes little bows and roses on the tissue boxes and toilet paper rolls. Ahhhh. Such pampering.
me: Hey take your shoes off, the house was cleaned today and I want to keep it that way for at least a little while. Ok? I look down and notice sand on the floor already. Gah!
Jack: I know, I was home after school, remember?
(Totally forgot his dad picked him up from school earlier…I was at the office all day. And that explains the dirt eh?)
me: Oh yeah, I didn’t remember that.
Jack: I wiped my butt with a flower.
me: Sigh.
😵🤣😆
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 