I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.


Politics by Jack

Jack: If I was old enough, I wouldn’t vote for someone that gets set off by a Tweet. Clinton would have my vote.

me: Really?

Jack: His slogan should be “Making America Worse Again!”

me: Catchy.

Watch the funniest Trump impression here.🙂

Almost voting time!

Don’t text and sleep

Here’s the text exchange Jack and I had this morning🙂

Then he sent me the flower and a few other funny pics🙂

And then I realized I could send Jack snapshots of his science study papers! He wasn’t too thrilled about that. 

All about that Zika

It’s a buzz word that all kids are hearing, using and have some fear of: Zika. It’s in the news and all over the radio, and their friends are talking about it. It’s gotten so that it has become a comical word that Jack and his friends use when they talk to each other. And sometimes when they talk to their mom.

I drive Jack and his friend to school this morning.

me: Jack, what did you end up making yourself for breakfast? (Jack usually grab a bowl of cereal while I get ready. And then he asks for his second breakfast when I’m done ha ha)

Jack: Zika flakes.

His friend cracks up.

me: no seriously, what did you end up eating? I heard you making cereal.

Jack: Zika flakes, covered with a sprinkling of Zika.

More cackling.

me: Really?

Jack: no, really, it was Zika flakes covered in a sprinkling of Zika with a side order of toast and Zika and a cup of Zika juice.

OK I can see how this is going so I don’t expect to ever get a straight answer. All I have to do is go back and look at the crumbs on the counter to see what he had, ha ha.

1% more of nothing is nothing

We were watching the new Sprint commercial where they basically tell you that yeah other carriers offer 2% better service for double the rates, so why would you pay that much for so little more…
Jack doesn’t miss a beat.

Jack: That’s just Sprint admitting they’re the worst.

How you get to Lake Compounce

Friend: So what are you doing in band these days?

Jack: Practicing to go to Lake Compounce?

me: What?

Friend: Oh, for the competition?

me: What competition?

Jack: Yeah, we’re totally going!

me: When is this?

Jack: May.

Friend: I heard that after the competition you get free reign of the entire park.

Jack: Cool! I’m totally there!

me: WHAT competition?

Jack: For the school. Aren’t you listening?


me: So, Jack, what is the competition thing in band?

Jack: You totally have to keep your grade above an A to be able to go…

me: Uhhhhh…

Jack: I think it’s an A minus, or like a 90.

me: Wait, so there’s a competition that your band is entering and do parents get to go?

Jack: Of course!

me: Well then you have to keep your grades up.

Jack: I always get an A in sax mom!

me: Oh it’s not the average grade for all your classes that has to be an A?

Jack: NO! Otherwise no one would get to go. Sheesh.





Vertigo! And other U2 references. Maybe.

Jack: Oh, you see that shot they just did? It’s called a vertigo shot because they zoom out as they move in closer. It makes it look weird.

me: What are you talking about? (We were watching The Zookeeper for the hundredth time… “How long have you been able to talk?” “Well let’s see, today’s Tuesday… So… Always?” Good stuff…)

Jack: (Played the part over so I could see it again.) See? It’s soooo cool.

me: Where’d you learn that?

Jack: Film camp.

me: Oohhh right. Would you want to go back there again maybe?

Jack: It was cool but I didn’t like being away from my friends for two whole weeks.

me: Ahem.

Jack: And you. Plus I had to rough it down there.

me: Rough it? In Manhattan? At film camp. Really.

Jack: Mom, they had the SLOWEST wifi everrrrrr! 

me: Oh geez you’re not serious.

Jack: First world problems.


Ok I lied, there are no more U2 references. 

A Break from #DebateNight

Ugh! Are you with me? Yeah so I needed a little humor break because apparently Lester isn’t able to keep control of this debate.


Jack: My math teacher is so cool. He lets us leave early from class. He even let’s us talk during fire drills.

me: Why does he do that?

Jack: Well, he wants to get back to his office quickly after our class so he lets us go early. And we talk during fire drills because he says he doesn’t get paid enough to care. 

me: Wha…?