Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now)
I started this blog when Jack was only 5 years old! And, still, I can't make this sh*t up!
I took this photo of Moca tonight… (can you see her?) haha…
and it reminded me of a photo I took of Jack about 6 years ago! He was “hiding” from me.
Jack: Moca is the ultimate turkey.
me: Yes she is.
That’s what we call Moca when she stretches out like that, a big turkey haha.
I’m surprised I had enough brain cells to remember that post and photo from so long ago. 🙂
Goodnight and I hope you can find your sons and puppies!
Could this tradeshow convention hall BE any bigger? There are 11 halls and hundreds of booths in each hall. Some halls are more than one floor even. Today, while working at our booth, I managed to walk 6.5 miles. OMG.
It was a busy work day with some fun added in. Some of the bigger companies have booths with dance music and they start their day with a group exercise class complete with aerobic instructor in workout gear and headphone mic.
We got another little break at the end of the day and walked around in the old part of the city which was so much fun. I bought a few paintings of the Dom Cathedral and a LOT of chocolates and souvenirs to bring home.
We had a GREAT dinner and I asked the waiter to bring me whatever he wanted. It was seriously one of the best meals I ever had. It involved cabbage, pork, potatoes and cream. Go figure. I’m sure it was a diet dish. :O
We have all types of people working at our booth: the Guy from Romania (he is here to add the exotic flair), the girl from Poland (for comedic timing), the German guy and girl (for local flavor) and the US gang which stands out like a sore thumb in a crowd 😉
me: I have a present for youuuuu…
Jack: What is it??
me: Something in a box.
Jack: Come on!
me: And some plastic.
Jack: Give me a hint!
me: It’s from Germany.
Jack: Sigh.
Ha, Mom wins one finally and gets a sigh!
So tired. Will write more tomorrow. I mean today after day 5. 🙂
me: Jack, I don’t want you walking around getting ready for bed with your iPod stuck to your face. Put it down and use it when you’re done.
Jack: But I’m just watching videos!
me: Take a little break and use it later or tomorrow please.
Jack: But why?
me: Because if you have that glued to your face all day you’re not giving yourself a chance to be creative and use your own imagination. It’s doing all the thinking for you and you’re not creating anything with your own brain.
Jack: But I get all my creative ideas from the videos I watch.
me: I … Uh… Sigh.
Sometimes I just run out of arguments.
Ugh! Are you with me? Yeah so I needed a little humor break because apparently Lester isn’t able to keep control of this debate.
ANYWAY…
Jack: My math teacher is so cool. He lets us leave early from class. He even let’s us talk during fire drills.
me: Why does he do that?
Jack: Well, he wants to get back to his office quickly after our class so he lets us go early. And we talk during fire drills because he says he doesn’t get paid enough to care.
me: Wha…?
Shhhh… That’s what we used to call my sister when she was little. I don’t know why, but boy did she get mad. Wooooo! Snap!! I tell Jack some of those stories and he cracks up. Like how we used to get our butts kicked if we talked back. Omg the belt! This kid has it made. Ooohhhh a stern talking to and anyone out. The humanity! And maybe lose an electronic!
Gasp!
We didn’t have electronics to lose BECAUSE THEY WERENT INVENTED! I think I had caffeine today. Sigh.
Jack’s still away at camo. Missing him big time. Bella misses him. She keeps hiding her wet soggy toy mouse in my sneaker or under my pillow. Ew. I need Jack’s sneakers back here for that!
I was just signing off and going to bed when his text popped up. Now why is he up so freaken late?? Grrrr. He’ll be tired and cranky tomorrow. Or actually he’ll be fine and save the frank for me this Sunday. Mhmm.
My typo reminded me of Mustard Monster! Haha. Ok goodnight y’all.
me: Five Guys burgers for dinner?
Jack: Oh awesome!!!
…Jack orders a double cheeseburger and small fries around 5pm. At 6 we head to Taekwondo class…
Jack: What’re you eating?
me: I got some Hershey kisses as a gift. Want one?
…He eats 4…
(After class)
Jack: I’m starving! What’s for dinner???
me: Uh remember the burger? That was dinner.
Jack: Nooo, THAT was a snack. What’s for dinner??
me: A snack. That’s what’s for dinner. What would you like?
Jack: Oatmeal with raisins and bananas. A double batch!
me: Ok… I’d better eat some of the leftover salmon we had last night. (I jokingly ask if he wants some)
Jack: (shoveling in the oatmeal) Yesss!! Make it into the sandwich you always make.
me: Really? Avocado and bacon?
Jack: Oh yeah!
…he finishes the oatmeal and grabs the plate with the sandwich on wheat toast and inhales it…
me: Geez, let it settle… You’re gonna be sick.
Jack: No, I’m still starving. Can I have cinnamon raisin toast?
me: Ugh ok. With butter?
Jack: Oh, soooo good…
… He eats the toast and eyeballs a pear I’m cutting…
me: You want some???
Jack: Yeah, but not until after I eat this…don’t rush me!
me: Oh of course not. Wouldn’t want it to get “gross” or anything.
Jack: I know, right?
…he eats the pear…
me: Time to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Enough food ok?
Jack: It’s time for something else now.
…He grabs his book and heads to the bathroom…
10-year-old boys that eat like that are on the 3-poops-a-day schedule, just FYI…
me: Go wash up and brush your teeth please.
Jack: (looks up from his drawing) No.
me: Uh, yeah, let’s go.
Jack: It’s a free country, Mom.
me: Not for kids, now get in there.
Jack: It’s a free country for everyone! Right?
me: Yes. However…Kids have to listen to their parents. It’s a free country for you when you’re an adult.
Jack: If it’s a free country then it’s free for everyone all the time!
me: Then how would kids know how to do anything? Their parents have to teach them and keep them safe and clean and fed … So it’s free but you do have to listen to your mom.
Jack: That means it’s like prison.
me: How was lunch today?
Jack: the cheeseburgers were disgusting so I ate ice cream instead.
me: I thought you liked their burgers? That’s why I didn’t pack you a lunch…
Jack: I decided to actually LOOK at the burger and it was all ground suckers!!
me: What??
Jack: They actually stuck out of the top and you could peel them off! That’s not real meat, mom.
me: Ground suckers…?
Jack: Yeah and if you scratch at the side of it, it turns to liquid!
me: Huh? The meat?
Jack: It’s NOT meat.
me: Did you eat any bites at all?
Jack: Yeah, one, and then threw it away.
me: Did you at least eat whatever came with it? Fries? Veggie? Fruit?
Jack: It didn’t come with anything and the veggies are gross and the fruit was soggy grapes! I told you I ate ice cream. It was cookies and cream on a stick.
me: Ice cream for lunch. How nutritious. And so NOT full of the sugar we’re avoiding. Great, Jack.
Jack: At least I had some energy after that!
(Lord only knows what they put in the “ice cream”!?)
Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says (but he's 18 now) 