Jack: I hit my head really hard when I was dancing! Me: But, you were asleep…

How can a child actually hurt himself when he was (supposed to be) asleep? Oh that’s easy! Yeah like I know the answer. Jack was all tucked into bed, with a hot water bottle, because he’s 80, remember? He dozed off and I went down to take a shower. Out of habit, I grabbed the baby monitor because I can see if it turns to red while I’m in the shower. Red means he’s yelling or crying or whatever. I didn’t see anything. All of a sudden the bathroom door swings open and scares the crap out of me.

Jack: WAAAHHHHHHHH!!! I hit my head!

me: Hold on, let me get out of the shower… What the heck happened?

Jack: I was dancing and hit my head really hard.

me: You were sleeping!

Jack: No I was dancing and rocking back and forth.

me: In your sleep?

Jack: NO!

me: Does it hurt?

Jack: That’s why I’m crying!

me: Where are your clothes? (I notice that he has nothing on but little undies)

Jack: I took them off.

me: Seriously what kind of party was going on up there??

Jack: The kind that HURT MY HEAD! Can you look??

me: Oh, yeah, sorry. It looks okay. Do you want ice?

Jack: No I’m freezing.

me: Then get back in bed with the hot water bottle. And put your clothes on!

Jack: No, they make me sweat.

me: Sigh.