I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.

2nd Report Card of 2nd Grade

Hmmm. I still haven’t quite figured out how to read these report cards. They used to do “S” and “N” in my day. When they carved report cards in stone, remember?  S was for Satisfactory and N was for… Non. I would always ALWAYS get an N in self control. Then in the notes they would write “…blah blah…lacks self control”. It sounds like I peed myself all day or something. Wait, actually in 2nd grade I DID pee myself. But that was because Mrs. Mazafarrow would not let me get UP when I said I had to PEE. And Yes I still remember your name. Are you dead? (Okay I didn’t mean that to be mean. Mean that meanly. Whatever. That’s just a quote from the Smurfs movie. And its funny.)

So, where was I. Well now I have to pee. Sigh. Okay…so the report cards now have 17 different ways you can be graded. In 2nd grade mind you. This is in CT of course. Not sure if we’re the only weird ones out there, or if this is standard all around. On this report card, for basic things like art, gym, music, math, reading, social skills, etc, you will see “grades” such as these:

PreE – Pre-Emergent

Em – Emergent

Dev – Developing

Beg – Beginning

Tran – Transitional

EarlyFl – Early Fluent

Fl – Fluent

M – Meets benchmark

P – Partially meets

NY – Not yet meeting

V – Very good

S – Satisfactory

N – Needs improvement

4 – Meets grade level independently

3 – Meets grade level with guidance

2 – Progressing towards meeting grade level standard with guidance and wtf

1 – Not yet able to produce required grade level work with or without guidance WTFFF

OH, and N/A – Not assessed at this time.

 

SO, after I flip back and forth like 800 times from the front of the card where the grades are to the back of the card where the excel spreadsheet of letters, numbers and phrases are housed, and with multiple papercuts and lots of swears (cuz I swear a lot) I can then just begin to see that Jack is doing ok. Sheesh.

He did go down in one or two things from the first report card to the second. I’m not sure how far down he went because the flipping back and forth was at a frenzy at that point. So I just asked him to tell me about it.

me: Hey Jack, how come you have a lower grade on “works neatly” this time. You had a “very good” last time.

Jack: What do I have now?

me: (sigh, flip) Uh, you have an “S”

Jack: What’s that mean?

me: Satisfactory.

Jack: What’s Satisfactory mean?

me: That your work is acceptable and ok.

Jack: (raises an eyebrow) And acceptable is good right?

me: It’s…well…you went down…so last time you had “very good” and …it’s an “S” now… so…

Jack: I think Satisfactory is a good place to be in 2nd grade don’t you?

me: Yeah (I hang my head a little sheepishly) But you were trying much harder maybe at the beginning of the year, so maybe you can try harder for next time?

Jack: My teacher was less cranky at the beginning of the year too. Did ya ever think of that? She said we drove her completely NUTS today.

me: Ah…

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6 responses

  1. Our kids still have the S and N. They also have P for progressing. We don’t have all the stuff your report card does. My daughter is in 2nd grade too, but she does get letter grades for Math and Language Arts. It does not if they are on, above or below grade level too, but they note that with a little dot next to the level.
    BTW, I love the way your son thinks.

    Like

    March 28, 2012 at 11:15 am

    • Interesting! And thank you for the compliment!

      Like

      March 29, 2012 at 9:56 pm

  2. Bie

    i hope the school realizes how confusing their grading system is! i can imagine you flipping back and forth, back and forth, funny!

    Like

    April 5, 2012 at 8:57 pm

    • Some parents like this system. I’m not a fan, but not the type to complain about it (believe it or not hee hee)

      Like

      April 5, 2012 at 9:03 pm

  3. Wow.. I mean it’s one thing to do something that we could follow, A-F or some such, but i feel like those terms were identified from a spilled box of alpha-bits cereal… muoi confusing. What were they thinking?

    Like

    April 7, 2012 at 12:59 pm

    • Amazing isn’t it? Sheesh. Like we don’t have enough going on without translating hieroglyphics on a 2nd grade report card.

      Like

      April 7, 2012 at 10:27 pm

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