For me. Sort of.
I realize that some of you are not taking me seriously. Perhaps because I’ve been conspicuously absent in the last couple of weeks. Well, not absent completely, but sort of a sporadic conspicuousness of absenteeism. Say that 5 times fast. Actually it’s not that hard. I just did it.
A lot has been going on in my little world recently. Some I can talk about. Some I most definitely canNOT. Because hey, it’s not that kind of blog. But the things that affect Jack I can most definitely talk about. Like him starting school on Monday. Like me closing on our house so that I can keep us from having to move, while assuming a mountain of debt to take over these mortgage payments BY MYSELF! Yeah. Woohoo. I literally signed the papers (or my life away, either way) and then the notary left my house and this actually happened… I opened one cabinet door and the handle came off in my hand. I opened another cabinet door a minute later and the DOOR came unhinged and almost took my face off! WTF. Money Pit! So yeah, homeownership is FUNNNZZZZZ.
I literally laughed my fool head off when that happened because crying would have been too sad. 🙂
So here is Jack. Totally unaware of the giant, HUGE, momentous things that are happening around him, because of him, and that concern his very welfare and the state of his actual being, and his future LIFE for Pete’s sake, and all he can worry about is when he can watch another video on TV or play on my computer. When I say NO, it’s all “you’re the worst Mom ever” and “you hate me”. Etc, etc. If he only knew all the angst and struggling I’m going through to keep him happy and healthy and just plain comfortable (in the style that he’s accustomed to of course).
me: Hey Jack, I have to go to a class tonight, so you’re going over Dina’s house for a couple hours okay?
Jack: What class?
me: Well, it’s a parenting class that you have to complete when you get divorced, if you have children.
Jack: Huh, you TOTALLY need that! I hope they teach you how to be nice to your only son. Because you’re not very good at that lately. That’s for sure.
me: Awesome.
Aw honey – it’s hard. I know – I’ve so been there. It is hard to laugh instead of cry sometimes, but great that you are able. It’s also hard because sometimes I just wanted to look at my kids and say “You just don’t get it – I’m about to crack!” But they are kids, it’s good that they don’t get it. It’s good they aren’t under stress. But it is hard. Hang in there, it will get better, I promise.
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Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂 I am hanging!!
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The obliviousness of youth. Even when the world isn’t turning upside down or drastically changing sometimes I feel defeated by how self involved and obvious the kids can be. It’s probably a blessing most of the time. I think about you guys all the time. Hugs!
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It is a blessing. 🙂 And thank you!!!
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oops oblivious no obvious. Ha!
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