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Jack: I didn’t say that! me: Yeah, ya did…

Many of you have asked if I let Jack read this blog. Or when will I. Truth is, he’s been peeking at it for over a year, mostly if I leave the tab open on my computer, or the WordPress app open on my phone.

He generally says “you’re lying…I did not sat that!!!” And then after I explain the situation he says “oh yeah”…

8 year olds have great memories for facts, spelling, names and even dates because their brains are being trained to receive and memorize lots of data. My theory anyway. They are not usually good at remembering intimate nuances in conversation even when they are involved. Also, if the situation seems in any way embarrassing or not cool after the fact, they will lie and say it never happened.

Jack also says its my fault if he walks into a room and trips because “I distracted him”.

I had been telling a Jack story to a friend in Dairy Queen, and Jack started yelling out that I was a liar. I can assure you that the story was true. However, I’m learning to be more sensitive to how he is processing the blog information. It’s embarrassing to him now. Most of it anyway. He’ll deny about 700 of my now 805 posts. That’s a lot of stories people!

So, I’m thinking that I either have to get editorial content approval from an 8 year old before I post anything “embarrassing” OR I just tactfully keep the blog away from little eyes for a few more years. (Gasp…years…?) Yeah I will keep writing as long as he keeps saying sh*t. :)

Jack would definitely get embarrassed if I told you that I came out of my bedroom to find him naked playing Xbox, surrounded by velvet pillows, his underwear thrown across the room.

me: What the heck Jack?!!!

Jack: (sheepish) Uhhh..

me: Naked Xbox now?

Jack: I was hot.

me: Mmhmm…

(Sorry Jack, but if you’re peeking, this actually did happen.)

Non-sequitur Mother’s Day

Jack: (singing in the car)
Do you like my sword sword
Sword my diamond sword sword
You cannot afford ford
Ford my diamond sword sword
Even if you could I have a patent
You cannot make a sword exactly like mine!!

me: Where did –

Jack: (interrupts me) Oh MAN look at all those satellite dishes!!!!!!!!!’

me: Sigh…

I hope your Mother’s Day makes a bit more sense!

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Mother’s Day Weekend! (sort of)

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(our conversation Friday night as I put Jack to bed)

Jack: How do you make oatmeal? How long does it cook?

me: Depends. Instant or regular.

Jack: The kind we eat.

me: Minute 30 seconds.

Jack: Ok.

me: Why…

Jack: Nevermind. I made you something for Mother’s Day! But if you’re annoying to me you’re not getting it.

me: Jack…

Jack: Sorry.

me: Is it in your backpack perhaps???

Jack: Yes! But I’ll give it to you when I’m ready. Maybe tomorrow can be Mother’s Day!

me: Every day is Mother’s Day.

Jack: No! It’s just once a year!

me: I mean that we’re mothers every day and you’re my little boy every day. Now try to go to sleep ok?

Jack: Oh. And remember not to be annoying…

me: (warning tone) Jaaaccckkk…

Jack: (giggles)

me: What?

Jack: I farted.

me: Oh come on. What do you say?

Jack: Thank you.

me: No, what do you say when you…

Jack: Sorry!

me: Sigh. I’m looking for “excuse me”

Jack: For what?

me: (omg) For you tooting.

Jack: I didn’t fart. I just said the words “I farted”. I didn’t really.

me: Then why say them.

Jack: Because it’s funny, that’s why!

me: Awesome. You’re a piece of work!

(Bella is barfing her breakfast up on the white carpets…hold on!!)

Jack: I can say words that don’t actually mean I did them you know.

me: Okay goodnight. Let’s make this a great Mother’s Day weekend!

 

(this morning, 6:30)

Jack: Can I turn on the light?

me: (grunt) ok…

Jack: Happy Mother’s Day! He waves a construction paper card at me.

me: Wow, how beautiful!

Jack: You like it??

me: Yep!

Jack: Wait right here. (much commotion in the kitchen while I doze). Here you go!

me: Wow, oatmeal, thanks! Here put it down, it must be hot. Let me read this card again.

Jack: (eyeballing the oatmeal) Can I try your oatmeal? I’m starving!

me: Ha ha, yeah sure. (we end up splitting it and then have a crazy game of tickle torture)

So, I’m hoping that all of you moms out there have a great weekend and that your old-enough-kids attempt to make you breakfast in bed. This is the first year that Jack has attempted it by himself of course. It was really sweet.

(omg, Bella is on round 2 of barfing hold ON!! And Ed’s friend the birdie is back at the window. Every day this week now. The bird tweets, Ed meows…it’s really cute)

Okay I’m back. Cleaning up cat barf is part of being a mom, eh? Oh, and holy crap… I just saw what Jack did to the kitchen. O. M. G.

 

Here’s Ed and his birdie friend (click to enlarge and look closely on the window frame):

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Jack, the champion speller in 3rd grade (he did a great job!):

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He just totally out-grossed me

Jack: (hocking up snot into his mouth)

me: Gross! Why don’t you just save that for a snack and chew it later?

Jack: I already do that with my belly button lint!

Words coming from living room while 2 boys play Xbox

((I’m not condoning this, merely reporting)

Jack/Friend: Suck it! You just got served! No YOU got served! Your wife is calling you! Who’s Oprah?? I don’t know!?? Padme sucks! Help me R2!!! That’s SO unfair!!! Dress up like a girl now! Ohhhh I’m your ex boyfriend!! Hahahahaaaaa!

Harry Potter Book 5 better be good

NOT a review.

Jack kind of gave up on those. I may try to coerce him for this last book, but he’s already finished up 732-ish pages of Book 4 and dove right into Book 5. Over 800 pages yo!

Last night we watched the movie. I liked it, just as I did in theaters. Ahhh Cedric Diggory… how you’ve grown…

After you died of course. And moved on to become eternal.

me: Jack, it’s okay. He didn’t really die you know.

Jack: (hiding his tears when Cedric’s dad yells “That’s my boy!”) Sniff…

me: He’s just an actor.

Jack: I know… (more sniffles and wipes)

me: Was it scary?

Jack: No, because I read even scarier stuff in the book!

me: True.

Jack: How come you let me watch this if it’s PG-13?

me: Well, I had to think about it. I figured if you read the book, and were scared or had trouble with any parts, you would tell me, and then maybe I’d hold off on the movie for awhile. But you seemed okay.

Jack: It’s cool how people can pretend to be dead.

me: Well, it may look cool, but it’s just acting.

Jack: How did he know when to die. Did he see the actual spell come out of the wand?

me: That was fake too honey. Probably added in by computers at the end. Someone told him “when you hear this noise, fall down and play dead” or something.

Jack: Oh. Can I start book 5?

me: Don’t you need a break?

Jack: Nope. And I’m telling you, this one better be just as good!

me: I’ll let J.K. Rowling know.

Minecraft Style

me: You know, sometimes it’s nice to put the iPad away and look out the window. See what’s happening in the real world.

Jack: This is the real world. The minecraft world.

Letterboxing, and Turkey Mac n Cheese you will eat out of the pan

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Okay, letterboxing first! Then mac n cheese. Have you heard of it? Letterboxing, not mac n cheese…duh…It’s sort of like Geocaching but without the GPS? Have you heard of THAT? Well, I got Jack heavily into letterboxing and now he’s hooked. It’s a great family activity for kids of all ages, if they’re able to do a bit of walking in the woods, and/or can read simple clues…

I’ll start at the beginning. I learned about letterboxing many years ago from a nature/hiking instructor that we used to go on long hikes with.  (never end a sentence with a preposition…sigh…) He taught us some survival skills and gave us a good instruction about nature and parks and hiking trails, etc. He then spent the last day of class showing us how to letterbox.

You pretty much create a trail name (mine was Polaris at the time), create a rubber stamp to illustrate your name (mine was a North symbol), using that pink rubber stamp material and a sharp carving knife (or buy a pre-made stamp), and then get an ink pad a pen and a notebook. That’s all you need.

Letterboxing consists of hidden boxes that contain (usually) a rubber stamp created by the box owner, an ink pad and a notebook. You’re basically finding stamps and collecting them in your notebook, and then stamping YOUR stamp in their book and writing in the date and your trail name. That way the box owner has a record of who visited the box, and you have a record of all the boxes YOU visited. Sound fun?

Most boxes are hidden in parks or on trails in the woods, simply because it’s easy to hide them and then give directions as to how to find them. Some are hidden in busy traffic areas like inside stores, or in guard rails of commuter parking lots, etc. The fun is finding them and collecting the stamps to show how many you’ve found.

So, to start, go to letterboxing.org click on either the big book on the left, or “Letterboxing” at the top to search for clues in your area. Just type in your state, and hit Search. Then scroll down to your town or city. Once you find some clues, print them out, pack up your stamp, ink pad, pen and notebook and head out to collect stamps.

me: Hey Jack, there’s a stamp in Old Mine Park called the lost mummy!

Jack: Let’s skip it.

me: Why, that sounds cool!

Jack: I don’t want to run into a real mummy.

me: That’s probably just the shape of the stamp they used. There’s not a real mummy…

Jack: There’s hundreds of acres of woods out there. Of COURSE there’s a real mummy! Sheesh.

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The “old mine” at Old Mine Park

Jack entering his first stamp. Much to his chagrin, it was a princess!

Jack entering his first stamp. Much to his chagrin, it was a princess!

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The view from one of the letterbox locations

Okay, and now we’re ready for the Turkey Mac n Cheese. Right? RIGHT??

It’s the easiest thing ever. Take a box of Kraft mac n cheese (or any other organic or low fat kind that you like) and make it. I left out the butter and milk and just used 2/3 of the cheese packet. Kept the calories pretty low.

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Brown 1/2 pound Jennie O lean turkey, with 1/2 cup chopped onion and 1 cup chopped green/red peppers. I didn’t use ANY seasoning except a dash of olive oil in the pan. Swear.

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Add one cup (or one small can) of Hunts tomato sauce. Heat it all up.

Then in a smallish baking dish layer 1/2 mac n cheese, 1/2 turkey mix. Repeat. Top with 1/4 cup fat free or low fat shredded cheddar.

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Bake 400 for 15 minutes.

I tasted it right out of the oven and kept tasting until my portion was consumed entirely. I’m going back for more now.

If you consider this one pan to be 6 servings, then each serving is just 200 calories but packed with protein and veggies. Low in salt and fat!

Jack is going to LOVE the leftovers.

Zero Patience

me: Can you please bring your plate over to the sink?

Jack: Only if you tell me what we have for dessert…

me: I don’t really have anything ready, but if you want to help we can make something?

Jack: I don’t want a “have to make” dessert! I want an “in my mouth right now” dessert!

My little helper

me: Ready to help rake?

Jack: Can I use the big push broom?

me: Okay. Just push all the dirt into a nice pile in the driveway.

Jack: (1 minute later) Can I pick up the sticks instead?

me: Uh sure. Just grab them all and make a pile.

Jack: Look! This one is just like a sword !!! (He runs around stabbing trees)

me: What about the pile?

Jack: I’m gonna ride my scooter and push the broom! (He runs off and gets his scooter and helmet)

me: Why do you have your squirt gun? I thought you were gonna scooter and sweep?

Jack: I’m gonna scooter and squirt you!

me: Sigh. If we work as a team this will get done faster you know.

Jack: We do work as a team. And by team I mean go get me a hot chocolate.

me: Nice.

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