Are you tripping?

Jack: Are you tripping again?

me: Excuse me?

Jack: Going on trips. You know!

me: I have two more trips for work then I’m done…

Jack: Where do you go first?

me: Chicago…

Jack: Bring me back something Chicagoish!

He’s thinking of Home Alone where Kevin says bring me back something French. Too funny.

I’m in Chicago now. Woke up to use the bathroom and realized I hadn’t posted this. So here I am. Yawn. Chicago is pretty. It’s been in the 40s and pretty mild. I know I’m very lucky…

When I go home Jack has big plans for me.

Jack: How come you never sleep with me any more?

me: Any more??

Jack: You used to! This weekend you are sleeping in my room!

me: Okay…I can do that. Let’s make a date.

Jack: Orrr…I’ll sleep in your bed and in the morning you can get me the tray and bring me breakfast in bed! Slave it over to me. (he cracks up)

me: Not a chance mister.

Jack: When people sleep in other people’s beds they should be slaves to them.

me: (sigh) Then you’re MY slave.

Jack: Oh…that’s not how I want that situation to work out.

What’s the Z-word? And does my cooking deserve such a name?

Jack: What’s the “C” word? Oh yeah, I know that…(I gasp) It’s “crap”. heh heh.

me: Watch it mister.

Jack: I know the “A” word. Right? It’s the donkey name. Ass.

me: Heyyyy…

Jack: Is there a “B” word?

me: There’s pretty much a word for every letter in the alphabet.

Jack: Why do we call it the letter?

me: Because it’s not polite to go around using bad words.

Jack: Then why were they invented?

me: Uh… I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

Jack: What’s the “Z” word.

me: Zipit.

Jack: (thinks) Heeyyyy, that’s not real! And by the way, I’m not eating any of that Zipping pasta you just made.

me: We’ll see about that!

So here’s the pasta I made tonight. Winter vegetable pasta with kale and parmesan. And a little white wine. I got the recipe from that lovely little Freshly Pressed blog The Scrumptious Pumpkin. Yummy! And, Jack ate most of it…so THERE!

Saute in EVOO: butternut squash, carrots, onion, garlic, thyme, salt, pepper until soft. Then add kale and wine!

Dump in cooked pasta and tons of parmesan! (the good kind) Plus some pasta water as needed.

Serve it up with more cheese. Devour hungrily. Go back for seconds.

Foto Friday – Eggs and Boobs

Made ya look!

First eggs.

Jack’s breakfasts are always interesting. We do at least 10 different styles of eggs that we rotate through, plus every kind of hot and cold cereal plus bagels, muffins etc. Eggs, however are Jack’s favorite. The cheesier the better. The leakier the better. Some people can’t handle it.

Jack: Can we have Grandpa eggs?

me: Not today, they take too much time.

Jack: You just have to boil them for 4 minutes!

me: Why do you know this?

Jack: Grandpa told me.

me: Sigh.

Scout Eggs

 

 

 

 

 

Egg whites and broccoli. Jack's absolute favorite!

 

As you can see, there is always a book present at breakfast. That hasn’t changed in the last few years.

And now for the boobies. Or as I like to call them “Cookies I delivered to Jack’s school for Valentine’s Day”. Anyone see the problem?

Jack: No one liked the sugar cookies with the … what do you call the decoration on top?

me: Uh… ?

Biological vs. Adopted

Take that topic very loosely. This is not an in-depth study here people. It’s Jack, remember. We start out eating dinner and end up tasting urinals, so you never know what can happen in the span of a 5-minute conversation. Last night we were talking about being adopted, and biological parents, etc.

Jack: What’s that word that means it’s your real mother?

me: Maternal? What are you talking about?

Jack: No, when it’s your own baby that you had… it’s Biology or something?

me: Oh, biological. The mommy that actually gives birth to you is your biological mommy. But there are other kinds of mommies too.

Jack: Adopted mommies?

me: Yeah, lots of kids have adoptive parents, but they’re still real parents. Because they take care of them and raise them. Does that make sense?

Jack: You’re my biological mom and dad is my biological dad. Right?

me: Yep.

Jack: Sometimes Daddy is all yelling and bad words and Mommy is all heart heart heart and videos and sunshine and lollipops.

me: Oh really? Ha ha ha! Interesting.

Jack: And then sometimes you’re not so hearty.

me: Ok.

Jack: Where did I come from again?

me: Well, I have tiny eggs inside me and one of them turned into you!

Jack: I was once … an EGG? I thought I came fresh out!!!!

What does a urinal taste like?

Well I’m glad you asked. Or wait, I asked didn’t I…

Jack and I sat down to a dinner of kielbasa and roasted cauliflower. Seems rather old country. But it’s cold and somehow the roasting veggies and the fatty meat seemed to suit the evening. We had to top it off with thick slabs of that cake from yesterday, didn’t we. But instead of milk, we had some lemonade left over from dinner. Maybe not the best combo.

Jack: Can you read me some of the Barn book while we eat cake? It’s funny because his son’s name is Pie. Get it?

me: Haha, yeah. But…I don’t think I can read and chew… Here, you can read it while you eat.

Jack starts reading and eating cake…I’m sure I’ll find chocolate crumbs in there next time I read that book, which will be next Fall. I’m weird like that.

Jack: What does this word mean…oh nevermind… (he keeps reading and shoveling in cake)

me: Don’t mess my book!

Jack: Do I have a drink…? Oh… (he drinks the lemonade)… AARRGGHHH! This tastes EXACTLY like the urinal in Home Depot!!! EXACTLY!! (he feigns dying and falls off the chair)

me: And you’ve tasted the urinal?

Jack: I think we can all imagine what THAT tastes like, can’t we??

7-year-old birthday party…finally

Jack’s birthday was last month, but the party kept getting postponed. One thing or another. Finally, FINALLY we had it yesterday at our Taekwondo studio. Not like Jack and I don’t spend all of our time there already. He’s a red/white belt, I’m a blue belt. We haven’t been going as faithfully as we’d like to… I’ve been sick and I’m SO behind on my form and self defense…sigh!!! (really huge red-tailed hawk is swooping by my window as I write this). Plus, I’m easily distracted these days.

…

What?

…

Oh yeah, the PARTY. It was a lot of fun actually. A big room full of crazed kids and lots of “get moving” games and activities. The kids loved it. Jack wasn’t entirely thrilled to have a “mock” TKD class and had sort of an attitude. But, let’s face it. He’s had an attitude at every single one of his parties. He was the only kid who had to sit out of his own 4-year-old birthday party bouncy house for not playing nicely. I have that kid. Too much noise and sensory overload. But yet we still invite 30 kids. Hmmm. Next year we’re going to a museum. (downy woodpecker is like RIGHT there pecking outside my window)

I just bumped a JarJar Binks toy out of Jacks hand and he yelled “What the hell’d you do that for!”. Sigh.

Anyway…I gotta get in the shower one of these hours, so let me get to the good part. The CAKE! As you can all remember (or just go back and search the blog) Jack’s cakes are magnificent every year. This year was no exception. Check out the hand-crafted cake! Yum! (click to enlarge)

Strange to believe I have a 7-year-old. He’s at a great age though, and is really tons and tons of help around the house. Right now he’s complaining that I’m using him as a slave while I type my fancy blog, as he calls it. Since his dad moved out, Jack has really stepped up and done his fair share of the chores. LOVING it!!

Jack: Why do I have to stack up all these presents. GEEZ! You make me do all your slave work! I just want you to get off the computer so I can go on it so can’t you go take a shower already?? Sorry, I’m not trying to be rude, but Moms and reason are like oil and water!

me: Want to repeat that?

Jack: No. You taught it to me anyway. So it’s your fault if I say things you don’t like. Who would I learn them from, huh?

Well, maybe he’s not always 100% cooperative, but we’re working on it. I will go take that scalding shower now. It’s freezing outside, the wind is howling. I’m not sure why there are so many birds flitting around. Maybe they don’t want to freeze to death by sitting still. Anyway, I’m rambling. Talk to you later.

Lego Star Wars

This just came out of Jack’s mouth. I had to type it verbatim.

Jack: Once I was playing Lego Star Wars III the complete saga for XBox 360 and I was Obi-Wan Kenobi as a padwan fighting my older self in the Mos Eisley Cantina from tatooine 3 episodes later! Like I was walking around and I saw my older self and then I took out my light saber and I struck him like 4 times. He died and he went into another room. He didn’t strike me back. I just walked around and wandered into another episode. It was cool.

me: Uh…?

I just stumbled on this cool Star Wars photo site looking for a Lego Star Wars image. Check it out!

The hundred and one-th day of school

Image borrowed from mcjacobsjournal.blogspot.com

 

me: Hey, I didn’t realize today was the hundredth day of school…

Jack: Yeah, we did a fun packet of stuff and tomorrow is the celebration.

me: How come it’s not today?

Jack: I don’t know, they decided to do it on the hundred and one-th day of school…

me: Haha, one hundred and first.

Jack: (gives me an evil eye) When you correct me, that just SUCKS…(dramatic pause) my thumb!

me: (paused ready to reprimand) Hahahahaaaa! Okay Jack, you’re quick. But still, not a good word and I don’t like it. Clever though…

Jack: I’m your clever boy. Will you still be alive when I move into my first house?

me: I sure hope so.

Jack: (panic look)

me: I mean, of course!

Jack: I drew a picture in school of what I’ll look like when I’m 100. But I think it’s more what you’ll look like.

me: Totally flattering. Sheesh. But I have a crown on?

Jack: No that’s your old hair.

me: Sigh.

Jack: There’s one more paper I did in case I become president.

me: Okay, let’s see it.

Jack: I’ll read it! If I were president I would make sure people didn’t use land fills. This is important because it would keep the earth clean. I would go on TV and tell everybody not to use land fills. I could also travel around the world and tell everybody.

me: Wow, nice writing. But, no landfills? Where would the garbage go?

Jack: How the heck should I know. I’m not president yet. That’s Obama’s problem.

Which sex rules the world?

Our opinions may differ. But here’s Jack’s. He told me that his teacher brought her new baby into school today for a visit.

me: Wow, that’s exciting! She had a boy, right?

Jack: Yeah, he was little and cute!

me: Awww, that’s nice. So what did you think about that?

Jack: (devilish glint in his eye) Another boy to help us rule the world!!!!

Dreaming of Summer

It’s cold. The weather can’t decide what to do. Warm. Cold. Freezing. Nice. Windy. COLD. Snow. 70 degrees. I think this is the most inconsistent couple of months that I can remember as far as weather and temps go. But generally it’s cold. And I don’t like cold. I don’t like hot either, mind you. Can we just have lukewarm?

I want to go back to this:

 

Or this:

 

 

Right? I don’t want to shiver in my own house as I blog. (I know I can turn the heat up but that costs $$$). I don’t want to scrape ice off my windows and sand my stupidly long and steep driveway.

Okay I’m just ranting in general and this has nothing to do with anything Jack says. But here are two things he did say today…aside from the lovely tweets I sent out while Jack and I watched the game. Those were hysterical!

Jack: Hey, can we tape my vocal cords by sticking a recorder down my throat? That might help you with your fancy blog.

Oh and there was this:

Jack: Mom, you’re not ABstract, your DIStract. (wtf??)

Still loving this kid…