I couldn't possibly make this sh*t up.


Summer is … where exactly??


I had 10 titles picked out for this blog (and seriously I meant to post for like what, a week now??) but I sat down (ahem on my BIRTHDAY ahem) and decided to type on my actual COMPUTER for once instead of my phone, and then I just looked out the window at the rainy foggy morning and realized tomorrow is the first day of Fall. Making this the LAST FREAKING DAY OF SUMMER!

(P.S. I feel like I’m going to use LOTS of brackets and CAPS in this post, and also lots of “asides”, and maybe lots of “quotes”). This is how an old brain works, people! We think of things as we’re doing other things and then we forget the things we are really supposed to be doing and then, when we’re doing the thing that we’re probably NOT supposed to be doing because we forgot the REAL thing we should be doing, we suddenly remember the real thing, and … wait, what? So, yeah, I’m typing this post EXACTLY like that sentence up there. Point-Point.

Yawn. I could totally sleep all day. But then I’d feel guilty.

Because, as I may have mentioned… today is my birthday. Did you catch that up there? I did not get breakfast in bed, which is kind of a blessing really (sorry Jack…but sometimes the mess is you know…pretty bad). However, I also did not get a hand drawn card either. :(  I told Jack he needs to draw me something extra special today. Hopefully he can find time in his busy day. Right now he’s playing XBox, Lego City Undercover with his friend.

And, here I sit with messy hair, and a cup of DECAF coffee (because caffeine makes me insane), with NON-DAIRY CREAMER FAKE POOFY POWDER (because now milk makes my intestines insane haha) and I’m typing this post in weird non-correct English half grammatically correct sentences. But I bet you can all follow me just fine because this is how we express ourselves these days.

Anyway, what has Jack been doing? Well, as you know we’ve been on vacation a few times. This last one to the Cape was really hard to come back from because it was insanely perfect and because we were both insanely busy when we got back. (I’ve used “insane” like way too many times already in this post.)

I think we’ve both just finally caught up with our school work and work-work, and my brain freed up a little space and then I looked at my blog posts and realized, whoa, 9/11 was the last one. Did anyone really really miss me? I wonder… hmmmm…

Regardless, here I am!  Don’t all cheer at once!

On Friday night Jack and I rented the movie Mom’s Night Out. Corny but had some funny stuff in it. Jack LOVED it and wanted to watch it again, but no. Once is enough. It’s a “Red Box” rental (for those of you not familiar, or living in other countries !  …it’s a $1.00 rental box located in most grocery stores, etc). Though, the $1.00 rental ends up costing me like $20 because I keep forgetting to return it. Like now for instance. It’s sitting on the table. I rented it Friday. I’m up to $3.00 already. Sigh. But for normal people it’s a cheap alternative to going to the movies.

As we picked out the movie at the store, we had this exchange…

Jack: (looking at a movie title) Mom, have we been to Transylvania!!??

me: Nooooo.

Jack: But we’ve been to Pennsylvania right? That’s pretty much the same thing?

I laughed. :)

Then Jack went over and weighed his thumb on the produce scale and tried to tell me that his thumb weighed 3 pounds. As he pushed it down as hard as he could of course.

Yesterday we drove up to (cue the banjos) the BIG E! (Eastern States Exposition). They may have banjos there, but since they feature farm animals and large pumpkin contests, people down here (nearer to NYC) think it’s hee-haw-ville. Which it is not. Though there were quite a few people in work boots and torn t-shirts who may or may not have had all of their teeth. Hopefully I’ll go back in this post and insert links for y’all so you can see the wondrous Big E. We had a tiring but fun day eating fried food that we loved (oreos, bananas) and riding rides and playing games and and and seeing farm animals and and watching horse shows! I got all hyper just remembering it! Jack and his friend each won a stuffed Scooby-Doo dog, so they were even Steven, and no fighting was heard!

On the way up in the car, they were talking and Jack discovered this problem and decided to solve it.

Jack: You know… “ASAP” does NOT mean do something as quick as possible!! Why does everyone mean it like that!? It means “Do It As Soon As Possible”. What if that’s like in a week? That’s not a rush.

me: You’re right. At work, if I ask someone to do something, but I don’t really need it right away, I say “asap” and then they end up doing it right away. Oh well, I should only use it when it’s critical!

(is this the longest post or what?)

They kept talking in the back seat and it was so funny to listen to them. Mostly they forget that a “grown up” is even in the car, as if it’s hurtling along by itself or something. Interspersed between the grunts of their combined Minecraft efforts I heard this:

Friend: Do you know that Connecticut is called the invention state?

Jack: Actually it’s the Constitution state, but okayyy?

Did I know either of those CT facts? Hmmm. haha.

I will leave you with a few photos to amuse yourselves!


Jack’s Halo character…



Speaking in (hash) tongues

On our way home from Cape Cod today, I decided to take a detour down to Woods Hole just to see a different coastline and to visit Nobska Lighthouse, which is really beautiful and authoritative, sitting on a solid shoulder of rocky, scrub-bushy land.

It was worth the little bit of extra time to me, but not to Jack, who was promised use of the iPad once we crossed the Bourne Bridge off the Cape. To show his displeasure, he spoke only in hashtags the entire way. Here’s a sampling.

Jack: Why are we doing thisss?? Hashtag Boredoutofmymind!

I want to go straight home!! Hashtag

I’m not getting out of the car at the stupid lighthouse! Hashtag Makingmegotosomecrapplaceidontwannago!




Go to Australia Where They Have Better Reception

I have no idea why Jack screamed that at the ocean yesterday…but he did. We were playing catch. I don’t ask questions any more.

Anyway…We kept moving yesterday and today because there is so much to see on the Cape and we only have 2 days left!

I went for a 6-mile or so run while my mom watched Jack. It was so needed! I took some great photos as always. The light is amazing early in the morning.

Later on, Jack and I ate lunch again at Mac’s Seafood on the pier. Fresh seared tuna wrap. OMG. So flipping good. We spent more time on the beach and in town, and visited Uncle Tim’s Bridge, which leads to an island in the middle of the marsh. We had a quick hike up to the top and got to view the town from up high. We then visited the used book store down the road called Herridge’s. Jack and I can both get lost in a book store for quite awhile, and we both picked out some good books.

Some down time at the house followed and we both dug into our new books. Jack is a super fast reader and he is already finished with his! (Maybe I can coerce him I to another book review! :)

Side note: we are watching a show about how bad Russian drivers are. It’s scary to see how these guys drive. I remember my cab driver scaring us quite a bit in Moscow.

We visited a museum in a Eastham for a short while but they were closing. :(

We then met a friend and hit Nauset Beach, Nauset Lighthouse and the three sisters…a group of lighthouses preserved in a little park near the beach. Some hackey sack on the beach gave us some more exercise.

We ate a good dinner out and spent probably more than I needed to, but I really wanted those Wellfleet oysters. Can’t beat em.

Today we mostly stayed in town going to the beach and playground and skate park.

Jack is now begging for a new skateboard for $130 and yeahhh… no? Can’t afford.

Jack: But mom, just listen. Don’t say anything. I think I would rather have the cruising board to just go around town. I’m not that good at tricks and like I think I’d get more use out of the cruising board?

me: It costs too much.

Jack: But I promise I won’t ask for anything else again for a veryyyyy long time. Like maybe 6 months!!!!

Sigh. I’m sure I’ll hear more about it tomorrow!

We took one trip to the National Seashore Museum and watched a couple short films about Cape Cod.

We had lunch on the beach and dinner at the house. There were lots of leftovers to use up from all the meals we’ve been having!

Jack peeked in the freezer…

Jack: Hey, I’m not eating these ice cream bars . They’re called Red Sox bars!!!

me: So we’ll chew em to pieces! (I didn’t care what they were called, I was gonna eat one. ha ha)

Jack: Yeah we hate the Red Sox so we’ll chew em up! (He was also looking for any excuse to eat the bars!)

Needless to say they were good. Now, we couldn’t leave any Red Sox bars behind, because we supposedly hate them. So of course, we each ate two and then threw the box away.

Okay time for bed. I am beat!




To Err is Human, To Arr is Pirate

Day two on the Cape was great as usual! A storm blew through in the middle of the night and cooled everything down!

We walked to Box Lunch for breakfast …yummy wraps…and then headed to Provincetown for the day.

The sun was blazing, the wind was breezy…a perfect September day.

We shopped, ate at Scottcakes, looked for beach glass, and at least one of us got a tattoo of a serpent. (Hint: not me.)

After a few hours enjoying the “sights” (see pic of “ladies in pink dresses, and Jack watching!), we headed back to Wellfleet.” Jack and I hit Mayo beach for some fun watching the fishermen and playing catch, and then did the skate park again. We never stop moving!

We watched the sunset in Duck Harbor. It was beautiful. Omg. So peaceful. Well, until we showed up. :)

Dinner was at the Lighthouse Restaurant in town. Dessert was finishing off the apple pie we had baked! I don’t even think my head had hot the pillow before I was sound asleep.

Jack: I have to wazzle.

me: Not right here! Sigh.

(He peed on front of 10 people in the Duck Harbor beach parking lot.

Got a 6:19 am wake up this morning!!’ :)






As Far East As We Can Get

Aka, we are in Wellfleet! Okay Provincetown is further East…but we ‘ll be there in a few hours! (Scottcakes.com here we come).

Jack and I left at 5:30 yesterday morning and arrived safely at the Pancake Man by 9am. Jack ordered the strawberry pancakes and I ordered plain with a side of peanut butter. Yum!

We had time to kill on arrival day because the house isn’t ready until 1 or 2…sooo we took Jack to Pirates Cove where he proceeded to get crazy on some arcade games. He played one where you watch a light race around a course and you have to hit the stop button and try to have it stop on the Jackpot light. If so you will win a zillion tickets which you can turn in for prizes at the counter. Jack played twice. Two tokens. On the second try he hit the jackpot. Little lucky sh*t. And 186 tickets popped out. He chosee a stop watch for his prize, which had to be programmed “immediately” by me, while reading badly translated instructions on the back which I think were originally written in a far off language. “Push B to time set clock if you wish to have time right” and “pushing A and B at same time makes for functions not working. Do not do this!” Etc. Have I mentioned that I have the patience of a saint and got the darn thing to work?!!

……Now Jack is using the stop watch to point out my parenting shortcomings.

Jack: Mom, it literally took you 7 minutes on the dot to go out to the car and get my book bag! What were you doing??? (He frantically pushes the buttons to reset the stop watch to time my answer)

me: Are you enjoying lounging in bed with your stop watch? Sheesh…..

From Pirates Cove we visited the Cape Cat (where Jack ticked off the owner by saying loudly “we are only staying in here 5 minutes, and I’m timing it! Beep beep!! The owner then told Jack that he was welcome to leave any time he wanted ha ha.) and then drive to Eastham…where they were having a Windmill Day Festival. Jack had fun in the “wipeout” style bouncy house and then we toured the inside of the Eastham Windmill. It was very cool! I met a local elderly resident and semi-famous artist, and we talked about design, illustration (we both have degrees) and writing our first books (which we are both trying to do, though his is about to be published and mine hasn’t been started yet. Ahem.) Very interesting just the same!

Lunch at Mac’s Seafood of course (fried clams, yum again) and then over to the skate park so jack could get schooled by another 9 year old. Frustrations ran a little high. :(

We then got into the house and unloaded our gear. The first thing we did was look for the A/C switch because it was 86 and huuuuuuuuumid! Totally no oxygen happening in Wellfleet at that particular time.

We then walked through town and visited our favorite stores (Sick Day and Abiyoyo). Picked up some pizza for dinner, baked an apple pie, watched some TV about sharks (there are so many shark sitings on the Cape this year that the Wellfleet drive-in theater is humorously showing “Jaws”!!), played trivial pursuit in the backyard while swinging in the hammock and then passed out asleep from exhaustion! Day 1 complete!!

Did I wear you out too?

Here are some of the things I heard throughout the day. Jack had a lot of sh*t to say…

– Can I use the iPad for the entire ride to Cape Cod? (I said no of course and doled it out in 20-minute increments.)

- Alex got a new Guinea pig because he traded in his rat. You couldn’t even touch that thing. But his sister got to name it and she picked Annabelle.

- I need a new skateboard. Right now. Mine stinks.

- I love being back in Cape Cod!! (Followed by Jack inhaling deeply and smelling it all)

- Remember last year when we saw the big dead sunfish right here and it had the big chunk taken out of it?? I hope we see another one.

- You never let me do anything that I want to do!! This trip is always all about you!!!! (Um…???)

- I just want to stay here and watch bad tv all night.

- Your arms are so mushy! It’s great!

- Even though I don’t believe I the tooth fairy, I still get the cash because it’s my tooth she’s taking. (Haha)

- (this morning at 7am) Time to wake up! Can I use the iPad!!!

Well I’m sure Jack will have lots more to say in the upcoming days. I’ll be sure to keep you all posted! :)





Need for speed

A tiny glimpse into our Saturday wake-up routine… In real time…

me: Jack!

Jack: What!

me: C’mere!

Jack: Ugh! (Clomps downstairs) Can I play my game?

me: in a minute. Can you please go get Biscuit?

Jack: Where is he???

me: In the ball, out there… (I wave my hand vaguely towards the living room.)

Jack: (finds Biscuit in the kitchen) How long has he been in this?

me: What time does my clock say?? (I’m much too lazy to roll over and look)

Jack: 7:50.

me: Wow I actually got some sleep! I put him in the ball around 6:45 when he jiggled the roof of his cage and then started flipping his house. That’s my cue that he wants out.

Jack: Here you go little buddy! (He dumps Biscuit out of the ball onto the roof of his house.) Now can I play my game?

me: Which one?

Jack: Need for Speed.

me: Racing?

Jack: Yes.

me: 20 minutes.

Jack: 30!

me: 25.

Jack: 35!

me: That’s not how negotiating works. Okay 30, but set the timer.

Jack: Nooo the ticking is annoying! Just get me in 30 minutes.

me: (Ooohh maybe I can doze off one more time …?) Okay, see you in 30.

Sadly, more sleep did not happen. Biscuit started flipping his house again (I removed it), a singular LOUD catbird took up residence right outside my open window “Raaow Raaaaoooow!'”, and then, as you lucky readers can see, I decided to blog! And now I need to go to the bathroom. I told you! Real time!


First day of 5th Grade

me: Are you excited!?

Jack: Yeah! Next year I’m gonna be in middle school!

me: I meant about THIS year…

Jack: Should I be a safety patrol?

me: Sure! You’d have to teach the younger kids how to be safe and behave. Basically use your power for good and not evil…

Jack: Yeah, I can’t promise anything…



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 508 other followers